A Day in Our Life

A friend recently asked if we had a regular daily schedule for our ministry here in Costa Rica. The easy answer, no. While some days' schedules mostly repeat on a weekly basis, that is far from a hard rule. Sometimes things come up which change plans for that week. And sometimes they change as the day goes along. There is no "typical day" in Costa Rica for us. They vary quite a bit.

But I decided to write a blog following a random day in our life anyway. Knowing we had a number of items on the agenda for yesterday, I figured it would be a good day to follow. So I told Polly of my plan. Little did I know that yesterday was going to serve to prove my point of our daily inconsistency and flexibility I mentioned above. I almost decided against even going through with the blog, but I think it's a fair representation so I decided to go through with it anyway. Some days are calm and dare I say relaxing. Others are...well, you'll see.

Normal Wednesday

A "normal" Wednesday would consist of:

• We have breakfast as a family
• I go to Linda Vista for Chicos from 9a-3p while Polly stays home with the kids
• I come home and play with the kids
• We have dinner together as a family

As you can see, our Wednesday schedule is sort of like a normal work day.

Yesterday's Planned Schedule

With the need to work on our residency and a Children's ministry meeting planned, yesterday already wasn't supposed to be a normal Wednesday. Here's what we had planned:

• Have breakfast together as a family
• My meeting at the Caja to find out how much social security tax I will "voluntarily" pay Costa Rica to be a resident at 9:45
• Polly's meeting at the Caja at 10:45
• Drop Polly and the kids off at home and go to Linda Vista for the 2nd group of Chicos
• After Chicos, come home and pick up the family and go to the Children's Ministry meeting
• Let Genevieve play at the park with the other MKs
• Return home and have dinner together as a family

So, yesterday was supposed to be a little more hectic and crazy than usual. But we would get a lot accomplished, both with our residency and our ministry.

Yesterday's Actual Schedule

Here's how yesterday really went:

• We had breakfast together as a family
• We left at 9:20a for my 9:45 meeting at the Caja
• I went in for the meeting around 10:20
• While in the meeting, they also called Polly back for her meeting
• We discovered that we were supposed to make 3 separate payments to the government
• They told us to make those payments and then come back next Tuesday when we would have to wait until they had an opening to fit us in
• I asked if I could go and make the payment right away and return to finish things up yesterday; they agreed
• Polly and Jonah stayed around the Caja while Genevieve and I went home to get some money, went to the ATM to take out more money, went into the bank to make the 3 payments for each Polly and me, and then returned to the Caja; all this took about an hour
• When I went to the woman who had been helping me, she told me that it was really busy and that we should return after 2p. It was about noon, so we left and grabbed lunch nearby
• While in Subway, it started pouring; we realized we didn't have umbrellas; of course we didn't have umbrellas
• When the rain let up, we left and returned to the Caja
• Finally, a little after 2:00, they took as back; everything went well
• We got in our car at about 3:15, about 6 hours from when we had left the house earlier in the morning; the kids were amazing all things considered, but clearly had enough at that point; so did Polly and I
• We swung by Piedad for the end of the Children's Ministry meeting; we got caught up on the OneHope project I've been working on
• It was still rainy and wet so no park play time with other MKs for Genevieve
• We had dinner together as a family

That's life here for us in a nutshell. Some days are calm, some crazy. Some weeks are extra calm, some are extra crazy. All are worth it in the end. We wouldn't trade any of this.

Thanks for spending a day in our life. And thanks for your prayers. They keep us sane in the moments of insanity.

Start - Finish. The dash matters too!

We've all heard, "It's not how you start, but how you finish the race." While I understand its point I think it's a bit simplistic. How we start can have a huge impact on how we finish. And from start - finish, I believe the dash matters too.

Strong Start

When running a race, a good start can be critical. Especially for sprints. This is why runners start on the blocks and this is why false starts occur. Beyond that, there is a mental component to starting well. When I run a race, I want to start well. It puts me in a good mindset moving forward through the race.

Strong Finish

Our place in a race is defined by how we finish. There was one point late in this year's Boston Marathon when Americans were leading both the men's and women's races. Both were eventually passed by other runners. They ran a solid race. Yet who received all the attention? The winners. How you finish is incredibly important.

So which is more important: the start or the finish? I would pick finishing well over starting well...if I had to choose. But we shouldn't have to choose. We should seek both.

I believe that we usually spend so much time focusing on talking about the beginning and the end that we forget the biggest portion of the race - the middle. What happens in between the start and the finish matters too.

Strong Middle

This is where I think the real battle often lies. This is when you really need perseverance and mental fortitude and focus. Let's face it, it's easy to start well because you're body is releasing so much adrenaline and you're fresh and ready to go. You're usually surrounded by many other runners and fans. And it's easy to end well because you can clearly see the finish line and generally there are so many people cheering you on, giving you the extra motivation. I have run two marathons. The start and the finish of each were relatively easy. What I found most difficult was the middle.

What happens when the initial adrenaline wears off? What happens when the pains kicks in and you realize uphill the battle is? What happens when nobody is standing around and cheering you on? This is where you really need to bear down and fight. The finish may be the most important part but you can never make it to the finish if you don't fight through the middle. The start might be important to build momentum and a positive attitude, but it's irrelevant if you allow yourself to lose the momentum you've built when you hit a rough patch in the middle.

It's easy to focus at the beginning and at the end. The difficulty lies in the middle.

My friend Matt and I are about to start Chicos on a weekly basis. We're fired up and excited to get going. We've planned and prepped. Tomorrow (May 12) will be the first day. I have no doubt it will go well. But we feel that the biggest key will be maintaining our focus and not losing that excitement as the weeks go on. We don't want to get lazy in the middle. We want to treat every week with the same intention and intensity as we do the first.

So, please pray for a great start, middle and end to Chicos this school year.

The Happily Ever After

Every romantic movie follows the same basic story: a couple meeting and falling in love. The pursuit of the relationship is given all the attention and is completely romanticized. However, I argue that it is far from the most important part of the story.

The pursuit.

I was attracted to Polly the first moment I laid my eyes on her. I had butterflies in my stomach every time we talked. I replayed every conversation through my head over and over again. I wanted to be around her as much as I could. I pulled out all the stops, using every ounce of creativity God gave me to romance and woo her. Every time we held hands, my heart skipped a beat.

Our pursuit had all the makings of a romantic movie:

• Boy meets girl
• Boy falls for girl
• Girl falls for boy
• Boy woos girl
• Obstacles and drama are overcome
• Boy and girl end up together
• More obstacles and drama are overcome
• Boy marries girl
• Boy and girl live happily ever after

The happily ever after.

This is where movies leave off, "And they lived happily ever after." This is where Hollywood has it all wrong. The happily ever after is the real story! It appears not to be as romantic. I used to believe that was true. Then I realized that was based on a skewed definition of romance.

Men and women can say nice things and sound sweet but I want to deal with reality for a moment so let's be honest, the butterflies wear off.

I still love waking up next to the love of my life and seeing her beautiful face each morning, but at the same time I have grown accustomed to her being beside me. This doesn't mean that I love her any less. In fact, I love her significantly more. It just means that the credits have rolled on the romantic movie and reality has begun!

Now don't get me wrong, there are still sparks:

• My heart still skips a beat sometimes
• I still smile EVERY time she smiles
• I still get butterflies from time to time

But some things change with time.

A while back a single friend asked Polly and me how to keep that initial feeling of falling in love alive. The easy answer is that while you do work hard to remember that first love and even fall in love all over again, you really don't. The happily ever after is just simply different.

There are new things that I look forward to each day. New little things that Polly does. The romance isn't gone just because the butterflies aren't as prevalent...it's just different.

I love my wife more now than I ever did before. I am in love. It's a matter of accepting the new face of love.

I think many relationships/marriages that fail do so because people get bored and want the adrenaline rush of falling in love again. This is because they have bought into the Hollywood lie and thought that the pursuit is the romantic part of the story. In reality it's not even close.

Crying together, praying together, changing poopy diapers together, experiencing life together (the good and bad), laughing together, snoring together...these are part of the beautiful part of the real story.

In short, romantic movies need more poopy diapers.

A friend of mine always says, "You don't date to marry; you marry to date." The story is not about the chase, it's about the "happily ever after." That's why I love dates with my wife more now than I did back then.

Chicos

"Mike, this boy has a question for you." I honestly had no idea what was going to come next. I looked down and saw this little 5th grader named Dylan looking up at me. In simple words, as directly as possible he began to speak (in Spanish), "I have a question. When are we going to start a Chicos?" Immediately my heart melted. These boys really want this. They're ready; and so am I!

Chicas de Promesa

Even before we knew we were going to be working with missionary Mary Mahon, we knew about her ministry to girls in the community of Linda Vista called Chicas de Promesa and were planning on assisting her with this ministry. This short video explains about Chicas.

While we are moved by this need and the impact of this ministry and have been praying over this need and ministry for a couple of years now, it was another burden of Mary's with which God began burdening my heart: the boys of this same community.

"We're Abused Too"

Earlier this week, Mary had been sharing a little about Chicas with a missions team visiting from the States. While I had heard everything she was sharing before, one thing she said really jumped out at me this time. She was sharing about how a boy came up to her once and said something along the lines of, "What about a club for the boys; we're abused at home too." There is a need for the boys. There is a need for Chicos. They deserve better too!

Chicos

I have known in my heart for some time that a big component of my ministry here in Costa Rica would center around starting a Chicos program. And Dylan's sweet, simple question was just the impetus I needed to take the next step into turning this dream into a reality. I want to share with you the three things that I told Dylan in response to his question:

1. Soon - We would like to start something in January just before the kids return to school.
2. Pray - I told him to keep praying that God would provide all we need to get this going.
3. The last thing that I told him was that I would put his picture online and ask that my friends from the States would pray with us. So here is a picture of Dylan and me.

Prayer Specifics

The thing I am asking for most right now is prayer. Here are some ways you can be praying:

• We would like to do a weeklong "launch" of the Chicos program this January. Please pray that God would give us wisdom as we organize this weeklong event with curriculum, speakers, topics, etc.
• We also need to have a structured plan for curriculum, speakers, topics, etc. moving forward.
• Property - There's a piece of property that we have our eye on which we think would be perfect for this ministry. We are praying that God show us clearly if this is His will and make the property available and allow us to purchase it if it is.
• Team members - we will need other people with a heart for these boys to come alongside us as we look to impact this community.

There are obviously other ways we can be praying. And we need to be praying for the boys in this community. Here's another picture from the other day with Dylan and a couple other boys. The one in the middle asked me about Chicos too. Let this photo serve as a reminder to pray for the boys in this community.

Not Perfection, but Progression

Between moving, some missions opportunities and nearly a week of training in Panama, my schedule has been pretty hectic since finishing my time at language school in August. But as Polly ramps up for her 2nd and final trimester of language school, my schedule momentarily ramps down for enough time to write a blog.

Language learning is obviously a critical element of the work we will be doing in Costa Rica. Without the language we cannot communicate. And most of what we do is communication. So I'm sure some people are wondering how my 8 month investment in intensive language learning went. Can I speak Spanish? Admit it, you know you were wondering that. So let me unpack the answer for you a little bit here by comparing where I came from to where I am today.

When we arrived in Costa Rica...

• None of the 3 of us Browns (it's easy to forget there were only 3 of us when we got here) had any ability to speak Spanish.
• We lived off of our Spanish-speaking friends to interpret for us.
• I knew very few words and didn't pronounce them well.
• I sat in church services picking up a few words here and there that were similar to French and thus at times understanding the title or big overarching theme but really understanding none of the substance of the service. My friend and youth pastor at my church would give me the quick 1 minute recap after service.
• I would get into a cab, say the destination to the best of my ability and hope for the best. I even had to call a Spanish-speaking friend once to tell the taxi driver where to take me.
• I would hope that store clerks wouldn't ask me a question.
• I tried to use as much English as I could with the teachers at language school.

Now, 8 months later...

• The 3 of us Browns (Jonah still doesn't speak anything) all speak Spanish to some degree. Genevieve is fluent for a 3 year old according to every tico who knows her, I can carry a conversation pretty well and Polly (who is a trimester behind me due to Jonah's birth) has taken huge strides in her ability to communicate lately.
• We are the Spanish-speaking friends who interpret for the new language school students.
• I know a LOT more words and pronounce them better...at least well enough that I'm generally understood without having to repeat myself.
• I sit in church services and miss a few words here and there but understand almost all of it, now having the ability to take notes. I interpreted the service for a new student a couple weeks ago and gave the quick recap after service.
• I use complete sentences to tell the taxi driver where I'm going, can give further explanation if they don't know the destination and at times even just direct them along the way.
• I ask store clerks questions.
• I look forward to using my Spanish with teachers and locals.

So, am I fluent?

No. I'm far from perfect and have a long way to go. But I can hold conversations with people, ask and answer complex questions and even do an interview for a local online newspaper. Say what? That's right. My first ever Spanish quote has been documented in this article. Of course, I didn't have the opportunity Genevieve had to meet and hold a Spanish conversation with the president, but then again, she's more fluent than I am. Don't believe me? Check this story out:

We left Jonah's blanket at the hotel in Panama back in March. They still had it so I went to the desk to pick it up last week. On the way, I realized that I couldn't remember the word for blanket. Thankfully Genevieve was with me. "Hey Genevieve, how do you say 'blanket' in Spanish?" Genevieve, without hesitation, replies, "Cobija." Naturally, she was right.

So, while I'm not there yet and clearly still make mistakes, I am progressing. As is Polly. That's all we can ask for. Of course, Genevieve is already there. It's almost unfair...almost.

Raising Third Culture Kids

"I'm pretty sure that only a TCK (third culture kid) would ask if their parent was giving them dirty water to drink. It was white grape juice."

This was a Facebook status from a friend who served as a missionary in an African country. It's absolutely hilarious...and completely believable. And it inspired this blog.

What is a TCK?

Third culture kids are kids who are raised in a culture that is not the same as their parents' culture. They don't really fit in the parents' culture because they have been raised apart from it. A problem exists because:

• They don't really fit in the culture where they're raised because it's not their own
• They in many ways are being raised separate from many of the customs and traditions

Thus it's like they have a culture all their own...a third culture. The International Society of Missionary Kids (ISMK) uses a green chameleon in the middle of a half blue/half yellow flag to give image to this thought.

4th of July

The reason this is appropriate to discuss is because we are preparing to celebrate the 4th of July tomorrow, the United States of America's Independence Day, in another country. A country my daughter references and has some memories of but really doesn't know. A country my son does not know at all.

Thankfully, there will be a picnic tomorrow to celebrate the day. It will include Nathan's hot dogs and cotton candy and games for the kids and other 4th-y things. We will be going, and giving Genevieve the biggest dose of American culture she's had since January and Jonah his first experience.

How I know my daughter is a TCK

I thought it would be nice to share a few personal examples:

1. I told Genevieve about the special picnic we're going to tomorrow. I told her there would be a lot other people from the States there and that everyone will be speaking English. Her reaction:
• She thinks it's silly that everyone will be speaking English
• She informed me that she is in fact "Costa Rican"
2. We stayed in a hotel in Panama this past weekend. After using the potty I informed her that she could throw the toilet paper in the toilet instead of the trash. She was confused by this and wondering why. Instead of explaining that this is normal in the States, I just told her that it was a special hotel with a special toilet. We'll cross the bridge of re-training her once we return to the States.
3. She thinks that a plastic Rubbermaid container is a legitimate alternative to a bathtub.
4. Genevieve corrects us when we pronounce some English words which are the same in Spanish without a Spanish accent.

The reality is that she is already learning a lot of things as her normal which are different from Polly's and my normal. In the end, this will make her a more well-rounded individual. In the interim, it will undoubtedly provide more fun, funny stories.

No Hablo Español...

Without question, the most challenging aspect of moving to San José, Costa Rica has been the language. We came with essentially zero Spanish knowledge. Even though I've felt pretty good about my progression since we've arrived, there are moments when I wonder if I will ever really grasp the language. I had one of those moments on Friday night.

No comprendo.

I have connected very well with my church Dimensión Cristiana and with the people there. In fact, most of my tico friends are from that church. And I love having the opportunity to attend the Friday night small group for jóvenes called Huellas (25+). When my friend Ben and I arrived on Friday night, everyone was in a circle and they had just begun going around and having everyone share something God did in their lives during the past week.

As people were sharing, I couldn't help but feel inadequate because I could only understand bits and pieces of what was being said. This is generally the case for me in group settings or when someone's preaching (if I can't ask for clarification). I understand the overall topic and gist of what's being said, but miss much of the substance. It made me feel less capable to share. A part of me didn't want to have a turn. But another part of me did want to.

No sé la idioma.

When I was given the opportunity, I began with the following qualifier:

Esto es muy difícil para mi, porque no hablo español. (This is very difficult for me, because I don't speak Spanish.)

I then went on to share for around 5 minutes or so...all in Spanish. I even said, "No sé la idioma." ("I don't know the language.") twice during my time of sharing. Sharing, which as I mentioned was all in Spanish. Sharing, which was being understood by all the Spanish-speakers in the room. Sharing, which dealt with how God gave me three opportunities to share my faith (to a small extent) with Spanish-speakers in Spanish during the past week.

(For the record, I was incorrect as "idioma" is masculine and I should have said "el idioma" but I am far from perfect.)

Encouraged.

I was so encouraged by my friends, especially after the small group had concluded. A number of people encouraged me by telling me that my Spanish is good. My friend Adrián was the one who pointed out the comical irony of my multiple references to not speaking the language...in the language...along with the entirety of my sharing. In hindsight I have come a long way. Yes, I know that I still have a long way to go (probably a lifetime) but I have also come so far. And to deny that would be to deny God's favor in allowing me to come a long way.

That encouragement was continued today when my taxi driver commented on my Spanish. I didn't fish for any of these compliments. But I really did need them. I needed to know that I am making progress.

The message within the message.

While I was sharing on Friday night, a thought hit me that I hadn't thought of previously. I needed the Holy Spirit's guidance just as much when sharing my faith in English as I do now in Spanish. It's just that since language is a weakness for me now, it's easier to recognize. I think I really needed to hear that.

Through God's strength, I will continue to grow in my ability to communicate in Spanish. It's hard to believe at times now because I know where I'm at. But looking at where He's already taken me in 5 months, I am reminded that He is able!