Our Thriving MK

A lot has happened in the 2+ years we have been in Costa Rica. While continuing to think and reflect on some of the most impactful moments and aspects of our time here, Genevieve came to mind.

When we arrived in January of 2014, Genevieve was just a couple weeks shy of her 3rd birthday and still an only child. Before coming to Costa Rica, Polly was a stay-at-home mom and Genevieve had never gone to day care and had barely ever been to school (she spent some time in a kindergarten class on occasion at the school where Polly taught gym and computer class, but never for a full day).

Don't get me wrong, she had already had an opportunity to meet so many people and have great experiences during our itineration (going to different churches each week to raise funds) and did not have separation anxiety when going to kids classes at those random churches during that time.

It was only our 2nd day here in Costa Rica when that all began to change. Genevieve spent her first day at school. She was still so little even though I know at the time I couldn't help but think about how big she was.

And that really was only the beginning. She would go to school Monday-Friday with a Spanish-speaking teacher. Soon she was speaking Spanish like it was no big deal. And in just a little over a month, she was a big sister. Her life was constantly changing. And while she went through culture shock in her own way, in short time she had embraced and even thrived in this new world.

I'll never forget when we were in Panama on a visa trip and she went with me to see if the hotel still had a blanket we had left during a previous trip there. On the way it occurred to me that I had never learned the word for blanket. So I turned to Genevieve and asked her. Without hesitation she responded, "Cobijita." What a humbling moment! (And she still teaches me new words sometimes.)

There have been cool personal, cultural experiences for her along the way, like meeting the president of Costa Rica on 2 separate occasions and even ending up in the national newspaper with him once.

But mostly I've been impressed by her ministry involvement. We always say that MKs are not missionary's kids but missionary kids. They are missionaries who just happen to be kids. In April 2015 at 4 years old was asked to share the story of David and Goliath in Spanish in front of a church full of people. She excitedly accepted the offer and did a great job.

She loves when teams come to work with us from the States, always making friends. And she loves hanging out with the chicas from Chicas de Promesa as well as other kids we work with. And let's not forget about how much she helped me with the OneHope book deliveries last year.

This week is exam week at the school where we do ministry 2 days a week. But since Genevieve goes to kindergarten at the school (all Spanish-speaking) when she goes with me, I decided to still let her go to class this week. At first I didn't know if it was a good plan since I am not doing ministry here this week and don't want to create more work for the teachers. But then it dawned on me that even though I'm doing work on my computer rather than normal ministry at the school these 2 days, she can still do ministry by showing the love of Jesus to her friends at school. These are her days of ministry. I guess I just forget sometimes that God wants to use her too. So while I type this, she's hanging out in school with her friends and I'm praying that God empowers her by the Holy Spirit to be a brightly shining light.

The Impact of Hugs

We have had some amazing ministry and personal experiences in Costa Rica. As we move into our final three months here, I have begun the process of reflecting on some of those. While reflecting, a "simple" question came to mind: Which experiences have impacted me the most?

Of course, this is not really a simple question at all. It takes a lot of processing for me to assess these kinds of questions. But I want to take some opportunities over the next few months to unpack and share some of the most impactful experiences, events and moments from our time in Costa Rica.

It's hard to say which is the most impactful but I want to start with the one which has stood out to me the most during these recent contemplations: Hugs.

I love hugs.

I hug my wife and children multiple times each day. And they hug me. I also often hug other family and friends. I guess you could say that I'm a hugger.

So perhaps it's no surprise that some of my favorite, most impactful moments here have involved hugs. While I cannot share an exhaustive list, I wanted to share some examples.

1. Fatherly Hugs

I wrote a blog entry about these hugs when I had this incredible experience. Let me share a summary. We were asked by a church to help with a children's ministry event. One of the teaching sessions was on fatherhood. I was with the younger kids for this session (up to age 6). The session was followed by a time of prayer. During this time I was approached by the teacher who asked if I would hug each kid with a fatherly hug and pray a prayer of blessing over them.

The first kid latched onto me and didn't want to let me go. I just stood there hugging this boy and letting him hug me. They finally had to pull him off of me to allow a chance for the other kids.

The last kid also grabbed hold of me and just laid on my shoulder for a long time while his aunt stood by bawling. I later found out he didn't have a dad.

I have kids and love to hug them as their dad. And while those kids were not my kids, for that day those kids (especially the first and last) were like my kids and I hugged them as a dad. It was one of the most special and powerful moments of my life.

2. Constant Hugs

I'll never forget when I heard that some students at the Latin America ChildCare (LACC) school in Linda Vista lost their house to a fire. I was asked to go and take photos so we could see how we could help. We ended up having the privilege of helping the family build a new home. But more than that we became friends with this family and we became close with the kids. To this day, the 3rd and 4th kids of the family give me big hugs when they see me at the school. And I can feel the love with every hug. It's something so genuine and so precious.

3. Comforting Hugs

One privilege has been the opportunity to pray over kids here in Costa Rica, especially in our LACC schools. Last year during the 5th grade spiritual emphasis chapel I was asked to pray for one of the students, one of the chicos I had been working with, as he was going through a tough time. I couldn't really do much but pray over him and wrap my arm around his shoulder to comfort him as he wept. 

4. Random Hugs

I was recently at the Linda Vista school when a kindergartner randomly approached me and gave me a hug before he returned to where he was sitting on the steps. I do not know why he hugged me and likely never will but I'm glad that he did.

Another recent situation found me at our school in Los Cuadros. Genevieve was with me and wanted to stay to watch a movie other missionaries were showing to a group of students. During the movie this one sweet little girl just kept snuggling up to my arm and shoulder before finally propping herself against my knee for the rest of the movie.

Final thoughts...

As I said, there are other examples I'm sure I could share (and Polly could add even more to that) but these are the ones that stood out to me the most. It occurs to me that all of these hugs have something in common: I didn't/don't deserve any of them. I am blessed and feel privileged to have these opportunities. Maybe that's why these moments stand out to me above so many other amazing experiences we've had here.

Bolivia

When we began the process in 2011 of applying to become missionary associates to serve a 2+ year term in Costa Rica, we knew that it was only the beginning of our life in missions. We wanted to take this time to learn more about missions and ministering cross-culturally. 

We finally arrived in Costa Rica in January 2014. We immediately began learning Spanish and culture. We also began developing friendships among the nationals. After our time in language school, we began serving in a number of capacities under missionary Mary Mahon. This has included a lot of work within children's ministry and more specifically a lot of work with our Latin America ChildCare schools.

In November of 2015 we found ourselves at a bit of a crossroads. We realized that we had to begin thinking and praying about what our future would hold. We knew we would want to transition to full-time missions. What we didn't know, however, was where we would serve.

A Seed Planted

During the week of Thanksgiving 2015 we attended a regional retreat in Mexico. While there, I felt a number of the messages directed at us. I felt like God was preparing us for an upcoming transition. Then the unthinkable happened. For the first time in my life, I felt like God began to put a specific country on my heart. Out of a seemingly chance poolside meeting with a missionary, God began to lay the burden for Bolivia on my heart.

The crazy thing was that I had never considered Bolivia before. In fact, it's probably the Latin American country I would have been most likely to forget before all this. But I left the retreat feeling that God was burdening my heart with this country.

Confirmation after Confirmation

At the airport on our way back from the retreat, I was having a conversation with a missionary friend who works with pastors' kids here in Costa Rica. God had began putting that ministry on my heart as well. I asked him if he knew of any countries with a need for that ministry. His answer was Bolivia. Okay, I'm listening God.

While talking to the director of LACC about potentially working with this ministry we love so much moving forward we asked him where their biggest need is. Yep, that's right...Bolivia.

The area directors for the Andean where Bolivia falls seemed very excited when we told them what God was putting on our hearts. The wife told us she was hoping that was the country we would say when she learned we wanted to go to their area.

Through a number of means and methods, God kept confirming Bolivia. I kept seeing its name and it seemed to be the answer to every question.

Putting the Pieces Together

Where are we now? Well, trying to put all the pieces together.

We're in the application process to become career missionaries. We don't see any reason this won't be accepted, but we're praying God's will be done and favor through the process.

Polly and I just returned from a quick visit to the country where we were able to meet with national leaders, pastors and a couple of our missionary units there. The biggest question is where we will live within Bolivia as we are weighing to options very seriously.

Nothing is official. Nothing is definite. No ministries are determined. But our heart is burning within us. God has even given us a vision: to see entire families made whole.

Why share something so indefinite in reality? Because it's so definite in our hearts and we would love all the prayer for favor and wisdom in this situation as possible. We will be okay if God ultimately leads us a different way, but unless He does we're all in on Bolivia.

And if everything goes to plan, we hope to arrive there in Summer/Fall 2017 after spending about a year in the States sharing our hearts and raising partnerships both financial and in prayer.

Words Hurt Worse than Sticks and Stones

• Good job.
• I'm proud of you.
• You look beautiful.
• You are a great [insert noun here].

Compliments. Words of encouragement. We all love to hear them, don't we? I know I do. It not only makes me feel good when people make positive comments about me, but it inspires me to continue improving and doing well in those areas. And it makes me want to encourage others.

• I'm so sick of you.
• Why do you always have to [insert negative action here]?
• Why are you always so [insert negative characteristic here]?
• You are stupid.

Negative criticisms. Words of discouragement. We don't love these so much, do we? I know I don't. Not only does it make me feel bad when people make negative comments about me, but it makes me either want to "show them" (with impure motives) or just discourages me. Worse than that, however, I find it makes me more negative too.

Now, don't misunderstand me. I'm not blaming others for my own poor attitude or decisions. I am responsible for my own decisions. But as imperfect people, I am speaking of the reality that these things tend to impact us. As the saying goes, "Hurt people hurt people."

"Sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will ever hurt me." Have you ever heard this old saying? Sorry to be negative for a moment, but I totally disagree with it. Words absolutely can and often do hurt us, much deeper than any physical injury sticks and stones could cause.

Perhaps you're a positive person always looking to compliment. If you are, that's awesome. Please keep being you. But if you're like me, then you struggle with this sometimes.

I sometimes find it so much easier to see the negative than the positive. Not only in others, but also in myself. But there's no benefit in such negativity.

Proverbs 18:21 says:

Death and life are in the power of the tongue,   and those who love it will eat its fruits.

Words can hurt. But words can heal too. Let's be honest with ourselves. There are enough people speaking death over the people in our lives that they can use some words of life from us. It may be difficult because of the negativity we hear in our own lives. But we must be intentional and push through the negativity and choose to be people who speak life today.

Hurt people do tend to hurt people. But hurt people who find the grace and mercy Christ offers to empower them to lay their hurt at His feet can overcome and help heal (love, encourage) people.

So let's be intentional today and remember the following:

It's better to compliment than criticize.

It's better to encourage than enrage.

The Happily Ever After

Every romantic movie follows the same basic story: a couple meeting and falling in love. The pursuit of the relationship is given all the attention and is completely romanticized. However, I argue that it is far from the most important part of the story.

The pursuit.

I was attracted to Polly the first moment I laid my eyes on her. I had butterflies in my stomach every time we talked. I replayed every conversation through my head over and over again. I wanted to be around her as much as I could. I pulled out all the stops, using every ounce of creativity God gave me to romance and woo her. Every time we held hands, my heart skipped a beat.

Our pursuit had all the makings of a romantic movie:

• Boy meets girl
• Boy falls for girl
• Girl falls for boy
• Boy woos girl
• Obstacles and drama are overcome
• Boy and girl end up together
• More obstacles and drama are overcome
• Boy marries girl
• Boy and girl live happily ever after

The happily ever after.

This is where movies leave off, "And they lived happily ever after." This is where Hollywood has it all wrong. The happily ever after is the real story! It appears not to be as romantic. I used to believe that was true. Then I realized that was based on a skewed definition of romance.

Men and women can say nice things and sound sweet but I want to deal with reality for a moment so let's be honest, the butterflies wear off.

I still love waking up next to the love of my life and seeing her beautiful face each morning, but at the same time I have grown accustomed to her being beside me. This doesn't mean that I love her any less. In fact, I love her significantly more. It just means that the credits have rolled on the romantic movie and reality has begun!

Now don't get me wrong, there are still sparks:

• My heart still skips a beat sometimes
• I still smile EVERY time she smiles
• I still get butterflies from time to time

But some things change with time.

A while back a single friend asked Polly and me how to keep that initial feeling of falling in love alive. The easy answer is that while you do work hard to remember that first love and even fall in love all over again, you really don't. The happily ever after is just simply different.

There are new things that I look forward to each day. New little things that Polly does. The romance isn't gone just because the butterflies aren't as prevalent...it's just different.

I love my wife more now than I ever did before. I am in love. It's a matter of accepting the new face of love.

I think many relationships/marriages that fail do so because people get bored and want the adrenaline rush of falling in love again. This is because they have bought into the Hollywood lie and thought that the pursuit is the romantic part of the story. In reality it's not even close.

Crying together, praying together, changing poopy diapers together, experiencing life together (the good and bad), laughing together, snoring together...these are part of the beautiful part of the real story.

In short, romantic movies need more poopy diapers.

A friend of mine always says, "You don't date to marry; you marry to date." The story is not about the chase, it's about the "happily ever after." That's why I love dates with my wife more now than I did back then.

How a Hen Came to Symbolize the Faithfulness of God

After another 2 1/2 hours of painting, I finished the hen I had been working on at the local pottery place. I mentioned in my last blog that I chose the piece because it had special meaning to me. I wanted to take this opportunity to share why through a short but powerful story.

Speckles

A story of God's Faithfulness

My mom comes from humble beginnings, having grown up in Mississippi with her dad, mom and three siblings. Saying they did not have a lot of money is an understatement. In fact, money was so tight that for a period of 4 or 5 years (until she was in 2nd grade), her family lived in a school bus.

One day, my mom and her sister walked outside the school bus to a special surprise, a chicken in the yard. They told their mom who thought they must have been wrong. But they weren't. It was in fact a chicken.

That chicken, Speckles, became a bit of a family friend. She would dance to music with my mom and aunt and would even sit on my nana's shoulders. As much as she was a friend, she played a more significant role as an incredible blessing.

For the entire time that Speckles stayed around, she laid enough eggs to feed my mom's family every day. For a family without much money or means to get food, the arrival of a hen who provided eggs every day was a welcome sight and a huge miracle.

One day, after months and months of providing friendship and food for my mom and her family, Speckles was nowhere to be found. She left as quietly as she had come.

A symbol of God's faithfulness

My mom has had a porcelain hen sitting in her house for more than half my life. In our family it has come to symbolize God's faithfulness. We grew up believing in and experiences God's faithfulness.

Polly and I have adopted it as a symbol of the same for our little (growing) family too. The same God Who provided eggs for a poor Mississippi family in the 1960s through Speckles the hen will continue to provide the needs of our family, whether in Costa Rica or wherever we may be.

"Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?" (Matthew 6:25-26 ESV)

6 Things I Say to My Daughter Often

As I think back to when Polly and I found out that our first child was going to be a girl, I remember being so excited. I mean, sure, I would have been excited either way. But more than anything, I have always wanted a little girl...a little daddy's girl.

Now nearly 3 years old, Genevieve is everything I could have ever hoped for and so much more. In fact, I am even more excited now than I was back then.

There are things that I feel are very important to do with Genevieve, including:

• Pray for/with her
• Read the Bible with he
• Generally train her in the way she should go (Proverbs 22:6)
• Play with her
• Pay attention to her

But there are also things that I feel are very important to say to Genevieve. I wanted to share 6 of them with you:

God loves you.

If you ask Genevieve who loves her the most she will reply, "God." I feel like it is so important for her to understand God's incredible love for her. In all honesty, I could tell her this even more often.

I love you.

A child can ever hear this phrase enough. I tell Genevieve this more than anything else. And I will tell it to her as long as I live. I love her unconditionally! She knows that aside from God, Polly and I love her more than anyone else!

You're beautiful.

I tell Genevieve she is beautiful every day. She will be bombarded with images in magazines, movies and advertisements and see how they define beauty. I will always be right there ensuring she knows that she doesn't need to fit anyone's mold. She is and will always be beautiful, no matter what. I think it's important for a little girl to hear this from her daddy.

You're [insert positive characteristic here].

Genevieve is a beautiful girl but she is also so much more than that. Just as she needs to hear that she's beautiful, she also needs to hear about other positive qualities she has. While I don't have space to list them all, this includes telling her she's...

• smart
• funny
• kind
• thoughtful
• sweet
• silly
• amazing
• awesome
• loving
• special

Good job.

Children need words of affirmation. Kids generally know it if parents think they're doing something wrong; parents better make sure their children know it when they're doing something right. I want Genevieve to know when she does something well.

I'm proud of you.

While I say, "Good job" in response to something she has accomplished, I am proud of Genevieve just because she's Genevieve. It's not just about what she's done but also who she is. And I'm one proud Dada!

Encourage your kid(s)

"Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged." - Colossians 3:21 (ESV). While we should discipline and correct our children when the situation warrants it, we must be careful never to provoke and thus discourage our children. My encouragement to you is simple: Make a conscious effort to encourage your kid(s) today!

Tis the Season

Well, it's official...the Christmas season is upon us. While different people begin celebrating the Christmas season at different times and for different reasons (we begin listening to Christmas music and watching Christmas movies starting on November 1st but don't really do anything else to celebrate Christmas until after Thanksgiving) most people recognize the Christmas season to be in full swing by December 1st. Many houses (and some businesses) are outlined by lights, have wreaths on doors and/or have decorated Christmas trees standing prominently in their front window. Most cities/towns have put up their annual Christmas displays. Many churches and some homes have erected their nativity scenes (and not a few incorrectly according to historical evidence considering the fact that the wise men did not arrive until Jesus was at least 2 years old). Every store you walk into is playing Christmas music while red and green dominate the color palate. Yes indeed, it's officially the Christmas season!

Easter is my favorite holiday because of what it represents. But Christmas is my favorite holiday season for all that it encompasses. While Easter is when we celebrate the death and resurrection of Christ Jesus for our sins, I cannot ignore the fact that this never would have happened if Jesus didn't first come in humility as a baby. Though we know that Jesus was likely born in the fall and almost certainly not on December 25th, this is the time that has long been designated as the day to celebrate the Lord's birth so I have no problems recognizing it as such. First and foremost, Christmas is a time to thank God for His love for us in humbling himself to live as a man to ultimately die on our behalf for our sins. As the old saying goes, we must never take Christ out of Christmas!

As I mentioned above though, I enjoy the Christmas season for all that it encompasses. While Jesus' birth is always at the forefront, I do enjoy the music, the movies, the lights, the decorations, the family and friends, the food, the opening of Christmas presents and the overall experience that it offers. I do not believe that these things overshadow Christ; I believe they are a separate element altogether which we can celebrate. In fact, I celebrate and thank God for the birth of Christ every day! This is not something that we should give thanks for only once a year.

Santa or not Santa, that is the question. Many people have many differing views on Santa. I've known Christians who have embraced Santa (in varying degrees and ways), Christians who have been indifferent about Santa and Christians who have been vehemently opposed to Santa. Where should we stand? Well, I believe that this is an area that each person must determine for himself/herself. There is no cut and dry answer. As for us, we are no Santa people while not being vehemently opposed to him overall. Look, St. Nicholas seems to have been a pretty cool, generous guy historically. With him, I have no issues. With what Santa has become I do have some issues though. I'm sure I could think of more, but there are three main reasons that we do not do Santa in our household (again please know that this is a decision that we have come to for us and we are not suggesting that everyone needs to come to this same decision; your decision on this matter is certainly not an essential for salvation). You may be shocked to discover that none of my three reasons are overtly religious in nature. In fact, I have met some non-Christians who do not do Santa for some similar reasons. Anyway, here are my three reasons:

1. The Letdown - I've seen more than one kid shed more than one tear when discovering that Santa is not actually real. It can be heartbreaking for kids to discover that Santa's not real. While it may be cute for a season, it could have negative impact down the line. Some kids don't have this issue at all. So for some it's a huge deal that Santa is fake and for some it's no big deal at all. The problem...I don't know which category Genevieve would fall under. I'm not prepared to break her heart when she gets older. (There also is an belief out there that I at least partially subscribe to that says that children may also begin to question if you were lying to them about Jesus all along too; Obviously this could be dealt with, but why put myself in that place where I would need to). I know that some people believe that the fun kids have for the time they do believe outweighs the letdown when they learn the truth. I respect that belief, I just don't hold to it myself.
2. The Appreciation - One of my goals in raising Genevieve is to ensure that she grows up with a proper appreciation for all that she gets. I work hard for my money. I'm not handing over credit to some fictitious guy in a red suit for the things I work hard for. If Genevieve thinks that an expensive toy can simply come for free then she will not have the proper appreciation for it. When she knows that it came via hard work and great sacrifice, she will appreciate it more. Some might think this is selfish on my behalf, but I think it's an important value. While I must guard Genevieve from any stress that comes with finances or anything along those lines, that doesn't mean that she can't have a proper understanding and appreciation for what she has.
3. The Worldview - This is a more recent reason for me that serves as icing on my "no Santa" cake. I believe that Santa skews children's worldviews. American children (of whom even the poor are among the wealthiest in the world) most likely believe that Santa visits children all around the world delivering them nice new toys. The problem with this...even of the kids whose family does celebrate Christmas, many kids around the world will get nothing for Christmas. They will be doing well just to eat a hot meal. This kind of ties into my second reason but I think it's specific enough to warrant its own point. I think it's important for Genevieve to have a proper worldview which is that most people in the world are impoverished...especially in comparison to the American standard.

So...Santa aside, we enjoy the Christmas season. And, as has been the case with many other days and holidays and events, we will likely not be celebrating another Christmas here in the States with our family and friends enjoying our normal traditions for a few years. In fact, if everything goes according to plan, we will not be celebrating another Christmas here until December 2016. Genevieve will be less than one month shy of turning six. Wow, that's crazy to put into words! As a result, we're going to try to do our best to enjoy as much as we can during this Christmas season. Here's a look at some of the things planned or already accomplished:

• Christmas lights - We love looking at Christmas lights. Of course, this means that we love driving around and looking at random Christmas lights. But this also means that we enjoy going to professional light displays too. This past Saturday we enjoyed our first professionally created light display when we went to La Salette in Attleboro, MA. Polly and I had been there before but this was Genevieve's first opportunity. And she LOVED it! She gets excited every evening to see the lights come on on the tree and on the house, so to have such a big and beautifully done display was quite the experience for her. The Violettes (the family that has so graciously let us live with them for the past 4 years) came with us. It was their first time and they all seemed to enjoy it too!
• Christmas parties - Tonight Polly and I will be attending the Southern New England Ministry Network's Central Mass Section's annual Christmas party. I believe this is the 8th straight party for me though it's possible they skipped a year or that I missed one. Regardless I've been to a bunch of them and I enjoy them every year. This is the 3rd straight year that it's being held at the same restaurant which is a great experience. I'm not sure what all is planned for the evening, but we will be among friends and fellow ministers so we know we will enjoy ourselves. This is the first of hopefully quite a few Christmas parties we will be able to enjoy this Christmas season. And hopefully Genevieve will be able to enjoy some too.
• Christmas gatherings - There are many gatherings of people that I don't quite consider to be a party per se but that are still meaningful and enjoyable. We will be celebrating Christmas with my family this coming weekend. We will be getting together with Polly's family the weekend before Christmas through Christmas day itself. Beyond this, we will be getting together with various friends and maybe family at other junctures which will undoubtedly have a Christmas-feel to them.
• Christmas plays - We don't currently have any specific plans to attend any specific plays but I'm sure we'll end up making our way to at least one.
• Christmas caroling - We used to go caroling when I was a kid. Whether we went to a nursing home, a mall or to random neighbors (especially on Christmas Eve when we would go to my aunt's house) we loved to spread Christmas cheer.
• Christmas events - Polly will be helping my mother at an event they are putting on for some underprivileged children. Genevieve and I will be attending an event that a local church is putting on that same day.
• Christmas adventures - Of course, there are always other miscellaneous adventures that we plan to enjoy. For example, we are planning a trip down to New York City this Saturday to see the big tree, go to FAO Schwarz and perhaps even ice skate. We may try to squeeze in some time in Boston and maybe other fun adventures.

How about you? Do you look forward to the Christmas season? Do you enjoy any elements beyond the narrative of the birth of Christ? Do you make fun plans? Would it be hard for you to miss three years of Christmas the way your used to it?

I'm sure I'll post again before Christmas but it's never too early to say this anyway, so: Merry Christmas! We wish you an amazing Christmas season as you celebrate the birth of Christ and spend time with family and friends.

In Christ,

Mike

Mi Familia

In my last two blog posts, I talked about my thankfulness for God and for His saving grace. In today's blog, I wanted to post about the next most important aspect of life that I am thankful for: mi familia (my family).

First, I thank God for creating us as relational beings and for creating the family unit. The Bible tells us in Genesis that God created all things. Over and over again, when we read these accounts of His creation, we see that He saw that it was good. But when God makes man, for the first and only time He makes an interesting observation: It is not good for man to be alone. This is the only time in the creation account that God calls something not good. What was God's solution? I believe that answer becomes clear when we read the entire verse that I referenced above with regard to God's calling man's loneliness "not good." Genesis 2:18* reads, "The the LORD God said, 'It is not good that man should be alone; I will make a helper fit for him.'" God's solution was a relationship. In fact, we read the following words of Jesus in Mark 10:6-9: "But from the beginning of creation, 'God made them male and female.' 'Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.' So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.'" Anyone who has ever attending a Christian wedding has likely heard that verse before. The Bible actually has a lot to say about the family unit. When describing the trinity, two of the distinct persons (important note: there is only one God, who is three distinct persons; this truth is referred to theologically as "the trinity.") are referred to in familial terms: God the Father and Jesus, God the Son. Paul dedicates a section of Ephesians to a description of how various members of the familial should treat each other: Husbands to wives, wives to husbands, children to parents and fathers to children (Ephesians 5:22-6:4). Exodus 20:12 lists the fifth of the Ten Commandments given to the Israelites which informs children to obey their parents. Paul alludes to this in the Ephesians passage I referenced. And even all this doesn't begin to scratch the surface of the Bible's references to the family unit. God created and ordained the family unit. So my thanks for my family ultimately belongs to Him.

So, who is my family that I am thankful for? Let me do my best to list them as follows, along with some specifics that I am thankful for with regard to the two most important people in my life:

My Wife

Polly - As I mentioned above, when Polly and I were married, we ceased being two separate individuals and became one. We are unified. I love Polly more than my words could ever express with the deepest love I can. Now, I know I'm not perfect. Sometimes I can be short while at others I can be a whining baby, but I truly do love her, praying for her daily and daily asking God to help me love Polly "as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her" (quote taken in context from Ephesians 5:25). Though I fall short, I attempt to satisfy proper love as defined in 1 Corinthians 13. Specifically, 1 Corinthians 13:2-7 reads, "Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things." One good test for yourself is to replace the word "love" in this passage with your name. Would the statements be true? I know they're not always true for me, but I do try my best to love Polly the best I can.

So what do I love so much about Polly? Where do I even begin with that. No matter what I say here, it will not be an exhaustive account for the numerous reasons I love her. The truth is that I discover new reasons I love her all the time. With that said, let me list a few reasons:

I love Polly because she:

Is a godly woman (more about that below)
Is beautiful
Is funny
Is smart
Is nurturing
Is gentle
Is sarcastic (in appropriate situations; this is important to me)
Is kind
Is fun to be around
Is an amazing mother
Loves me

As I said, I could go on for a while. I won't. But I do want to touch on her being a godly woman. The Bible contains a passage that describes an excellent wife. It is found in Proverbs 31:10-31. In the original Hebrew it is written as an acrostic poem with each line beginning with the successive letter in the Hebrew alphabet. It loses that poetic structure when translated to the English but not it's meaning. Is says:

¹⁰ An excellent wife who can find?
    She is far more precious than jewels.
¹¹ The heart of her husband trusts in her,
    and he will have no lack of gain.
¹² She does him good, and not harm,
    all the days of her life.
¹³ She seeks wool and flax,
    and works with willing hands.
¹⁴ She is like the ships of the merchant;
    she brings her food from afar.
¹⁵ She rises while it is yet night
    and provides food for her household
    and portions for her maidens.
¹⁶ She considers a field and buys it;
    with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard.
¹⁷ She dresses herself with strength
    and makes her arms strong.
¹⁸ She perceives that her merchandise is profitable.
    Her lamp does not go out at night.
¹⁹ She puts her hands to the distaff,
    and her hands hold the spindle.
²⁰ She opens her hand to the poor
    and reaches out her hands to the needy.
²¹ She is not afraid of snow for her household,
    for all her household are clothed in scarlet.
²² She makes bed coverings for herself;
    her clothing is fine linen and purple.
²³ Her husband is known in the gates
    when he sits among the elders of the land.
²⁴ She makes linen garments and sells them;
    she delivers sashes to the merchant.
²⁵ Strength and dignity are her clothing,
    and she laughs at the time to come.
²⁶ She opens her mouth with wisdom,
    and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
²⁷ She looks well to the ways of her household
    and does not eat the bread of idleness.
²⁸ Her children rise up and call her blessed;
    her husband also, and he praises her:
²⁹ “Many women have done excellently,
    but you surpass them all.”
³⁰ Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain,
    but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
³¹ Give her of the fruit of her hands,
    and let her works praise her in the gates.

In my opinion, Polly embodies what it is to be an excellent wife. 

My Daughter

Genevieve - Genevieve is the most beautiful, amazing, precious, sweet, intelligent little girl that any dad could ever hope for. I know that many men love to have boys that they can play rough with and teach sports to. I, too, would love to have a son someday for those same and other reasons. But I would be lying if I said that I didn't always want a daughter first. I have always wanted that daddy's girl. And as much as Genevieve loves her mother, she is a daddy's girl.

Anyone who read the blog post I wrote on my wedding anniversary last month knows how seriously I take my responsibilities as Genevieve's father. It is a responsibility that I do not take lately but also one that I completely enjoy.

It's been so fun watching Genevieve grow up. It's amazing to me to see how big she is getting, how much she knows and how much she talks (I think she gets that from her mom). My life changed the day she was born. I can sit and tell you about all the things that Polly and I can't do anymore now that we're responsible for her precious little life, but I honestly just don't think of things that way. No, I am thankful for the little life God blessed Polly and me with and entrusted to us. As Polly reminded me a couple of nights ago when Genevieve vomited, it's an honor and privilege to clean up our daughter's vomit. Some people are not able to enjoy the blessings we enjoy as parents. We don't take that lightly.

I hope to always be an active part of my daughter's life.

My First Family

It's said that you can pick your friends but you cannot pick your family. Well, that's true up until you pick your spouse and I suppose also if you ever adopt. But that statement does hold true for my first family. What do I mean when I say my first family? Well, that's easy...I mean the people that made up my first family unit. You see, before I was a husband and a father, I was a son and a brother, a nephew and a grandson, a cousin and an uncle (well, before I was a father for that last one anyway). Now don't get me wrong, I never stopped being any of those things. I have never taken off the son hat or the brother hat, the nephew hat or the grandson hat, the cousin hat or the uncle hat. It's just that when I hear the word family these days, the first hats that come to mind are the husband hat and the father hat. God blessed me with the opportunity to begin my own family unit, to start my own family traditions, to build my own family legacy. And for that I am grateful. Though this changed my perspective of family, this didn't diminish my first family's importance to me. I love them all with all my heart. I would do anything for my family. It's just that we don't throw random stuff into our bunk bed and call it "Garbage Truck" or line of the kitchen chairs to play "Choo-choo Train" anymore.

Dad & Mom - I have made it no secret that my parents had a big influence on my life. They taught me how to love God first and then family above all else. I still call them for advice and wisdom or even just to talk. And it doesn't hurt that Genevieve loves calling Grampie and Grammie too.

Shan - When I was little, she was Momma Shanda. Now, she's Shan. But that just shows a change in name, not in love. I also love her boyfriend Zach.

Stephan - My big brother who has always been there to talk theology along with many other intellectual discussions. We were roommates for a short time after I graduated college which only strengthened an already strong bond. I love his wife MyTam, who is awesome; I am so thankful she is a part of our family.

Dawn - Dawn and I grew much closer when we both lived in Missouri while I and her husband (whom I also love and with whom I used to play Prime Time for Sega way back in the day and with whom I also enjoy many great theological and other intellectual discussions) were both attending the same college (I'm not sure if I should still call it CBC or if I should cave and already begin calling it Evangel). I love that we got to enjoy that special time together.

Jon - I mean no disrespect to my other siblings, my parents or anyone else when I say this, but aside from my wife and my daughter there is no person I love more in this world than my brother. I cannot watch "A River Runs Through It" ever again because it reminds me of our relationship and it caused a panic attack at the thought of either of us not being around some day. I know this is a reality of life, but the movie just made it too real. We were the ones who fought the most, but we were also the ones who loved the best. There have been good times and bad times, ups and downs, but I would never trade away any of the moments I have shared with him. And now thanks to the birth of his son Sean, Sean and Sean's mom Siobhan (as well as her parents, her brother Rich as well as Maura, Vaunie and Breezy) have become a very important part of our family and our lives. I love them all so dearly.

My Extended Family

My extended family includes my grandparents (both of my dad's parents as both of my mom's parents have passed away), numerous aunts, uncles, cousins and thanks to my wonderful marriage an awesome father-in-law Byron, mother-in-law Marilyn, brother-in-law Leroy & his wife Karen, brother-in-law RIdge as well as Polly's grandparents (her dad's mom and both of her mom's parents), aunts, uncles and cousins. As if that wasn't enough, we also consider the Violettes (with whom we've lived for four years) to be like family. In fact, I don't think Genevieve would understand it any differently. I wish I could write things about all my extended family in the same way that I did about the rest of my family, but this post is already plenty long enough. Let's just suffice it to say that I'm thankful for all of them, love them all and pray for them all regularly!

 

God created family...and I'm so thankful He did!

In Christ,

Mike

* All Scriptures given using the The Holy Bible, English Standard Version Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a division of Good News Publishers.

Tetelestai

"28 After this, Jesus, knowing that all was now finished, said (to fulfill the Scripture), "I thirst." 29 A Jar full of sour wine stood there, so they put a sponge full of the sour wine on a hyssop branch and held it to his mouth. 30 When Jesus had received the sour wine, he said, "It is finished," and he bowed his head and gave up his spirit." John 19:28-30.*

In this account of Jesus' death on the cross, John uses the Greek word "tetelestai" which is translated in verse 30 as "It is finished." Jesus had fulfilled all of the Old Testament Scriptures pointing toward the Messiah (Hebrew) or Christ (Greek). Jesus became the covering for our sins (1 John 2:2). We, who are imperfect and unable to have a relationship with a holy God on our own, can be reconciled to God through Christ's death on the cross for our sins. I keep trying to think of what verses I should put down here but want to use nearly the entire New Testament. In fact, this action is what the ENTIRE Bible is about. The book of Romans is a pretty amazing place to read about what Christ did for us. But as I said, it's all good. A few that stand out off the top of my head are John 3:16, Romans 3:23, Romans 6:23, Romans 10:9-10, Ephesians 2:8-9. Of course there are many, many others.

I have absolutely no desire to get into a theological discussion or debate with regard to this post. I simply want to take this opportunity in this season of thanksgiving to thank God publicly for the work of Jesus Christ on the cross and that I am saved as a result of my faith in the gracious act of Christ's death and resurrection. Sin has lost it's grip on me as I am now in Christ Jesus.

"1 There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. 2 For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death." Romans 8:1-2

There has been more than one individual who has been guilty of proof-texting this and any of the verses mentioned. Proof-texting occurs when a verse is read out of its intended context. To fully understand and appreciate this and all the other verses, you must really read them in the proper context in which they were written. As I said, its really good stuff.

Anyway, so that's today's thanks: I'm thankful for my salvation through Christ's death and resurrection. It's a good thing too, because I know how impossible it would be if I had to rely on my own self-righteousness.

Questions? If you have any questions about what I wrote today or would like more information about what it means "to be saved" please feel free to email me at mikeandpolly@gmail.com.

In Christ,

Mike

* All Scriptures given using the The Holy Bible, English Standard Version Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a division of Good News Publishers.