Social Reset

Do you remember your best friend(s) from you were a kid? Do you have one now? In some cases, it may even be the same person.

I had best friends growing up. They changed as life changed, but there were always those with whom I was closer. I would talk on the phone for hours, even when it meant paying an exorbitant amount of money on the long distance phone bill (remember when you had to pay per minute for "long distance" calls?).

Social reset.

One thing that happened in my decision to go to school in Springfield, MO was that it forced me to say goodbye to my former friends and essentially begin a new life socially. Obviously I maintained friendships to some extent, but that was before social media and technology became what it is today. I didn't even have a cell phone.

After I graduated from college I moved back to Massachusetts, but an hour west of the city and no longer near my friends from before college. And in the process I left my college friends too. Once again I was forced to essentially reset life on a social level. After marrying Polly, we developed close friendships with others once again. Our closest friends moved away but we still managed to have close, meaningful relationships with others.

In 2014, when we moved to Costa Rica, we yet again found ourselves hitting the reset button socially. We developed good friendships with other American missionaries as well as Costa Rican nationals. Then we left, went back to the U.S. and prepared to become missionaries to Bolivia. More changes. More social resets.

Here we are, less than a year into our time in Bolivia. We are building new friendships, once again with other American missionaries and with Bolivian nationals.

Reset again.

While we don't get rid of our previous relationships, as relational beings we desire community in a physical sense. We want to spend time with people in-person, not simply via technology. We want people at our house. We want to spend time at theirs.

There's a challenge that comes with constantly resetting your life socially. You constantly find yourself entering situations where people have often already developed their long-lasting friendships long before your arrival. So while you develop friendships, it's hard to find best friends.

And that leaves you looking for others who are not deeply established in their existing friendships. These are typically internationals. And like you, they generally live a transient life. So it's hard to connect to deeply knowing that you or they will soon be gone.

Genevieve, our 7 year old daughter, is dealing with this problem right now. Her best friend is Italian. And we just found out that they are moving back to Italy next month. Reset.

The biggest challenge.

Sometimes people ask what the biggest challenge is as a missionary. Some suggest that we give up so much, our livelihoods and homes and such when we leave. But the truth is that I don't care about stuff. I miss people. I miss being established. I miss my life when goodbye wasn't such a common word and hello wasn't said with such reserve knowing how this too will end.

I don't normally share about these kinds of things, but after sharing a short post on Facebook this week, I decided to open up more and explain further to give you a better idea of our biggest challenge. 

We're not unhappy or depressed or down in the dumps. It is a reality we have accepted to be real. It's just a reality that sometimes stinks. Especially for our kids.

This is an area where we would appreciate your prayers.

Tis the Season

Well, it's official...the Christmas season is upon us. While different people begin celebrating the Christmas season at different times and for different reasons (we begin listening to Christmas music and watching Christmas movies starting on November 1st but don't really do anything else to celebrate Christmas until after Thanksgiving) most people recognize the Christmas season to be in full swing by December 1st. Many houses (and some businesses) are outlined by lights, have wreaths on doors and/or have decorated Christmas trees standing prominently in their front window. Most cities/towns have put up their annual Christmas displays. Many churches and some homes have erected their nativity scenes (and not a few incorrectly according to historical evidence considering the fact that the wise men did not arrive until Jesus was at least 2 years old). Every store you walk into is playing Christmas music while red and green dominate the color palate. Yes indeed, it's officially the Christmas season!

Easter is my favorite holiday because of what it represents. But Christmas is my favorite holiday season for all that it encompasses. While Easter is when we celebrate the death and resurrection of Christ Jesus for our sins, I cannot ignore the fact that this never would have happened if Jesus didn't first come in humility as a baby. Though we know that Jesus was likely born in the fall and almost certainly not on December 25th, this is the time that has long been designated as the day to celebrate the Lord's birth so I have no problems recognizing it as such. First and foremost, Christmas is a time to thank God for His love for us in humbling himself to live as a man to ultimately die on our behalf for our sins. As the old saying goes, we must never take Christ out of Christmas!

As I mentioned above though, I enjoy the Christmas season for all that it encompasses. While Jesus' birth is always at the forefront, I do enjoy the music, the movies, the lights, the decorations, the family and friends, the food, the opening of Christmas presents and the overall experience that it offers. I do not believe that these things overshadow Christ; I believe they are a separate element altogether which we can celebrate. In fact, I celebrate and thank God for the birth of Christ every day! This is not something that we should give thanks for only once a year.

Santa or not Santa, that is the question. Many people have many differing views on Santa. I've known Christians who have embraced Santa (in varying degrees and ways), Christians who have been indifferent about Santa and Christians who have been vehemently opposed to Santa. Where should we stand? Well, I believe that this is an area that each person must determine for himself/herself. There is no cut and dry answer. As for us, we are no Santa people while not being vehemently opposed to him overall. Look, St. Nicholas seems to have been a pretty cool, generous guy historically. With him, I have no issues. With what Santa has become I do have some issues though. I'm sure I could think of more, but there are three main reasons that we do not do Santa in our household (again please know that this is a decision that we have come to for us and we are not suggesting that everyone needs to come to this same decision; your decision on this matter is certainly not an essential for salvation). You may be shocked to discover that none of my three reasons are overtly religious in nature. In fact, I have met some non-Christians who do not do Santa for some similar reasons. Anyway, here are my three reasons:

1. The Letdown - I've seen more than one kid shed more than one tear when discovering that Santa is not actually real. It can be heartbreaking for kids to discover that Santa's not real. While it may be cute for a season, it could have negative impact down the line. Some kids don't have this issue at all. So for some it's a huge deal that Santa is fake and for some it's no big deal at all. The problem...I don't know which category Genevieve would fall under. I'm not prepared to break her heart when she gets older. (There also is an belief out there that I at least partially subscribe to that says that children may also begin to question if you were lying to them about Jesus all along too; Obviously this could be dealt with, but why put myself in that place where I would need to). I know that some people believe that the fun kids have for the time they do believe outweighs the letdown when they learn the truth. I respect that belief, I just don't hold to it myself.
2. The Appreciation - One of my goals in raising Genevieve is to ensure that she grows up with a proper appreciation for all that she gets. I work hard for my money. I'm not handing over credit to some fictitious guy in a red suit for the things I work hard for. If Genevieve thinks that an expensive toy can simply come for free then she will not have the proper appreciation for it. When she knows that it came via hard work and great sacrifice, she will appreciate it more. Some might think this is selfish on my behalf, but I think it's an important value. While I must guard Genevieve from any stress that comes with finances or anything along those lines, that doesn't mean that she can't have a proper understanding and appreciation for what she has.
3. The Worldview - This is a more recent reason for me that serves as icing on my "no Santa" cake. I believe that Santa skews children's worldviews. American children (of whom even the poor are among the wealthiest in the world) most likely believe that Santa visits children all around the world delivering them nice new toys. The problem with this...even of the kids whose family does celebrate Christmas, many kids around the world will get nothing for Christmas. They will be doing well just to eat a hot meal. This kind of ties into my second reason but I think it's specific enough to warrant its own point. I think it's important for Genevieve to have a proper worldview which is that most people in the world are impoverished...especially in comparison to the American standard.

So...Santa aside, we enjoy the Christmas season. And, as has been the case with many other days and holidays and events, we will likely not be celebrating another Christmas here in the States with our family and friends enjoying our normal traditions for a few years. In fact, if everything goes according to plan, we will not be celebrating another Christmas here until December 2016. Genevieve will be less than one month shy of turning six. Wow, that's crazy to put into words! As a result, we're going to try to do our best to enjoy as much as we can during this Christmas season. Here's a look at some of the things planned or already accomplished:

• Christmas lights - We love looking at Christmas lights. Of course, this means that we love driving around and looking at random Christmas lights. But this also means that we enjoy going to professional light displays too. This past Saturday we enjoyed our first professionally created light display when we went to La Salette in Attleboro, MA. Polly and I had been there before but this was Genevieve's first opportunity. And she LOVED it! She gets excited every evening to see the lights come on on the tree and on the house, so to have such a big and beautifully done display was quite the experience for her. The Violettes (the family that has so graciously let us live with them for the past 4 years) came with us. It was their first time and they all seemed to enjoy it too!
• Christmas parties - Tonight Polly and I will be attending the Southern New England Ministry Network's Central Mass Section's annual Christmas party. I believe this is the 8th straight party for me though it's possible they skipped a year or that I missed one. Regardless I've been to a bunch of them and I enjoy them every year. This is the 3rd straight year that it's being held at the same restaurant which is a great experience. I'm not sure what all is planned for the evening, but we will be among friends and fellow ministers so we know we will enjoy ourselves. This is the first of hopefully quite a few Christmas parties we will be able to enjoy this Christmas season. And hopefully Genevieve will be able to enjoy some too.
• Christmas gatherings - There are many gatherings of people that I don't quite consider to be a party per se but that are still meaningful and enjoyable. We will be celebrating Christmas with my family this coming weekend. We will be getting together with Polly's family the weekend before Christmas through Christmas day itself. Beyond this, we will be getting together with various friends and maybe family at other junctures which will undoubtedly have a Christmas-feel to them.
• Christmas plays - We don't currently have any specific plans to attend any specific plays but I'm sure we'll end up making our way to at least one.
• Christmas caroling - We used to go caroling when I was a kid. Whether we went to a nursing home, a mall or to random neighbors (especially on Christmas Eve when we would go to my aunt's house) we loved to spread Christmas cheer.
• Christmas events - Polly will be helping my mother at an event they are putting on for some underprivileged children. Genevieve and I will be attending an event that a local church is putting on that same day.
• Christmas adventures - Of course, there are always other miscellaneous adventures that we plan to enjoy. For example, we are planning a trip down to New York City this Saturday to see the big tree, go to FAO Schwarz and perhaps even ice skate. We may try to squeeze in some time in Boston and maybe other fun adventures.

How about you? Do you look forward to the Christmas season? Do you enjoy any elements beyond the narrative of the birth of Christ? Do you make fun plans? Would it be hard for you to miss three years of Christmas the way your used to it?

I'm sure I'll post again before Christmas but it's never too early to say this anyway, so: Merry Christmas! We wish you an amazing Christmas season as you celebrate the birth of Christ and spend time with family and friends.

In Christ,

Mike

A Win-Win-Win Situation

Polly and I celebrated our 5th wedding anniversary a week and a half ago. We chose to get married in the fall because it's both of our favorite season. We chose the specific date because it was Columbus Day weekend and our traveling friends and family would already have an extra day to take their travels easier. Of course, the downside to that is that since we like to celebrate our anniversaries enjoying the fall in New England, we picked the most hectic weekend we could have selected. Prices, traffic and overall stress increases in New England over the Columbus Day weekend in northern New England. It is, after all, peak foliage season and the last weekend for most in that area at their vacation homes. As a result, we have had to be creative. On a couple of occasions, this has meant celebrating our anniversary a week late. And that's what we did this year. But this year's anniversary was unlike any other.

Genevieve was born in January 2011. She was 8 1/2 months old when Polly and I went to Maine for our 4th wedding anniversary last year. We contemplated the idea of leaving Genevieve with Grammie and Grampie (my parents) for the getaway, but Polly just wasn't ready yet (there was also the practical issue of feeding Genevieve since she was still being nursed at the time). So, we took Genevieve to Maine with us. She was her usual active self during our 2 1/2 hour steam-engine train ride through the woods of Maine and to the coast. Our walk through a lovely ocean community with fun shops was made more difficult by the need to maneuver her stroller through tight spaces at the small shops and she was way beyond tired. At one point, she finally fell asleep. For us, this meant no more stopping at shops. Movement is critical to keep that child asleep outside of a bed. While we enjoyed our trip to Maine, let's be clear...it was a family vacation and not a romantic getaway. It just happened to be around our anniversary.

In fact, Polly and I have rarely been on too many dates since Genevieve was born. And even when we have had the opportunity, we haven't really had to much money to do too much. That's why it was huge for us when our friends helped us win $100 in gift cards to a group of restaurants. We finally had something to do while we were away from the baby. We were telling my nephew's mom Siobhan and brother Jon about our date when we were visiting them in New Hampshire over the summer. It started off a bit slow with us walking through Malden Square (I wanted to see what had become of it; not good) and with us swinging into McDonald's for a snack wrap. But then it picked up as we mini golfed, ate dinner and then hung out at Jordan's where they have some fun free things and we furniture "window" shopped. Apparently Siobhan and Jon were unimpressed. That's when Siobhan made us an incredible offer that we simply could not refuse. She offered to let us use her vacation house the weekend after Columbus day AND to watch Genevieve while we were away. We made tentative plans. Over the course of the next couple months, Polly went back and forth on whether or not she was ready to be without Genevieve for a few days. While I have spent a number of days away from Genevieve due to travel for my job and when working doubles, Polly had only spent one day away from her (and that was for a youth convention we took our youth to so that wasn't a getaway for us either). Finally, we decided that it was time and that we needed it. Genevieve was a little extra trying that week so Polly was ripe for the break.

Polly and I had a wonderful long weekend away. It was much needed and much appreciated, just as we assumed it would be. But what about Genevieve? I mean, I knew that even if she had a rough time away from Mama and Da-da, she would be fine in the long run. But we also wanted it to be fun for her, Siobhan, Jon and Sean (my nephew). So, did she do okay? You look at the pictures below and decide for yourself:

Forget managing. Genevieve had a blast! She was so well behaved and loved all her play time with her auntie, uncle and cousin. In fact, as my brother was pulling away from the house (she stayed with us the first night in New Hampshire before my brother drove her down to Mass the following day) rather than crying, she just waved with a big smile. Apparently she didn't cry once during the car ride. She was okay with leaving us. Yay...right? I mean, that's a good thing. It's what we wanted. But it's also sad to think that they don't miss you. Of course she missed us (this was proven when she got so upset that I was leaving when we picked up my car from work on the way home...she was happy to have her Mama and Da-da back again and she wasn't ready to leave them again just yet).

Really though, I think that her ability to detach is a very good thing. It will be a necessary skill later in life. But I think a question is begged here. Since Polly's a stay at home mom and since Genevieve is not dropped off at day care or school each day, how was she so okay with leaving us. Well, I think there were 3 major factors:

1. Prayer - We, as well as others, prayed that she would be emotionally strong during this weekend and that everything would go smoothly. I've had way too many prayers answered to question whether or not it's effective. Hey, prayer works!

2. Practice - I think that itineration has brought with it and added bonus. Genevieve is put in different environments with different people nearly every week when we drop her off at church nurseries. And you know what I noticed at the last church we went to? She has begun to grow accustomed to it. No more crying and worrying that Mama and Da-da are going to leave her. No, I think she's becoming a confident little girl who trusts that her parents will return.

3. People - It didn't hurt that she already loves the people she was going with. Siobhan has given us picture books each year at Christmas chronicling Sean's life. Genevieve looks at those books nearly every day. She knows who her family is. Also, every night before she goes to sleep, we thank God for a whole bunch of people and things. Of course, our family is included in those thanks. She hears her family members names every night! She knew she was in good hands. We had been talking about the visit all week and she was so excited each time we did.

So, in the end, it was a win-win-win. A win for Genevieve, a win for Siobhan, Jon and Sean and a win for Polly and me.

In Christ,

Mike

The Ideal Husband

As I celebrated my fifth wedding anniversary with my wife today, I couldn't help but think about the fact that I have an amazing, sweet, funny, beautiful little girl that will most likely get married someday as well. I know it's a long time off from now, but that doesn't mean that I shouldn't already be thinking and praying about it the kind of man I want her to marry. So, I do. And I don't mean how he looks, what kind of job he will have, what his talents will be, etc. I'm speaking about what kind of man he is. I'm talking about his character. So, out of that, I've decided to create a list. This is not necessarily intended to be an exhaustive list; it's just a list of the important qualities that come to mind.

I want Genevieve's future husband to be a man...

...after God's own heart - I want him to love the Lord God with all his heart, mind, soul and strength; I want him to love the things that God loves and hate the things that God hates.

...of integrity - I want him to be honest, genuine, authentic; I want him to be the same man in private that he is in public.

...of strong moral character - I want him to be known as a man with strong morals; I want him to be a man of purity and a man with a clear conscience.

...of respect - I want him to respect God, Genevieve and their children as well as everyone else around him; I want him to know and appreciate the precious gem that he will be blessed with when he takes my daughter's hand in marriage.

...of sound judgment - I want him to be able to make the right decisions, no matter how difficult they may prove to be; I want Genevieve to be confident that he will make decisions with her in mind.

...of ambition - I don't care what job/ministry he might be involved in so long as he has ambition to do all that he does to the best of his ability.

...of selflessness - I want him to put Genevieve before himself, even willing to lay his life down for her if the situation called; And I want him to put his children before himself; If he's tired and has had a hard day, his family shouldn't have to pay for it.

...of peace - I am not naive to think Genevieve and her future husband will never disagree; I'm not sure it would even be healthy if they didn't; But I want him to be a man who seeks peace and not arguments, who is more concerned with others' feelings than with being "right" (while not in any way compromising standards, of course).

...of unity - I want him to be a strong head of his household, unifying his family together.

...of a guarded tongue - I want him to choose his words carefully and wisely, never saying things he later wishes he could take back.

...of humility - I want him to remember his spiritual poverty apart from Christ and never feel as though he is incapable of stumbling.

...of romance - I want him to never let the flame of his love for Genevieve die out and for him to remain romantic throughout their marriage; I want him to surprise her and woo her.

...of mercy - I want him to be understanding when Genevieve might do something that drives him crazy.

...of self-control - I want him to be able to exhibit self-control in all things...anger, exercise, etc.

...of good stewardship - I want him to be a good steward of his treasures (money, things), time and talents.

...of obedience - I want him to be sensitive to God's voice and quick to obey it.

I'm absolutely positive that I could keep going on with this list for a while, but I think that is at least a good starting point. So, here's the question. What is the proper thing to do with this information? What do I do with this list? Do I simply sit and go over each item, praying that God will help Genevieve's future husband to have that quality? No, no and a thousand times no. While I do think that there is value in praying specifically for him in the area of each item, I think I have a greater responsibility.

My responsibility...to live out each of these qualities. I do now and will continue to pray for my daughter's future husband in these areas, but more importantly I pray for myself in these areas. How I am in each of these areas teaches Genevieve what to look for in a future husband. For example, if Genevieve saw me lacking peace and self-control and always yelling at her mother, Genevieve would view that as an acceptable way for a man to treat a woman. The simple truth is this...I have no right to expect Genevieve's future husband to be any better a man than I am. I need to live out the example of the type of man I want her to marry.

Likewise, Polly has the responsibility of living out the qualities and characteristics of the woman of virtue that we want Genevieve to grow up to be. Genevieve will model her virtues off of those of her mother. Thankfully, Genevieve has the most virtuous woman I know for a mother. I have no doubt this will suit her well in life.

Does all this assure that everything will go smoothly or perfectly in Genevieve's future marriage? No. But not having this mentality virtually assures that it won't. I want to give Genevieve and her future husband the best fighting chance I can. I know this model works, because I'm the result of it. My parents weren't perfect and there are things that I have been intentional to change (which will probably be true of Genevieve some day as well) but they were a solid example of husband, wife, parent. I grew up knowing that my parents loved each other. I grew up never questioning if things might or might not work out between them. In fact, I'm not sure that I know a couple to this day that is more in love with each other than they are. I am thankful for their example. Now, I'm ready to take that torch and pass off that example to the next generation.

In Christ,

Mike

Feeling "Youth"ful

Now, I know what you're thinking, "Mike, you just spent your entire blog post yesterday talking about how you're starting to feel old. Now, today, you're writing about feeling youthful? This seems a bit contradictory." First, let me respond to your supposed thoughts by saying that I am absolutely in a place where I sometimes feel young and sometimes feel old. I am torn. I suppose that it has much to do with the perspective and context surrounding my situation at any given time. But, though this is true, I actually don't want to talk about how young I'm feeling (in fact, there are certain aspects to what I want to share that make me feel old) but about ministering to youth--the term typically used in the church world to refer to adolescents.

I believe I have alluded to my feelings about transitioning from youth ministry to missions work in past blog posts, but I wanted to commit an entire post to it. Plainly put, I miss working with youth! I'm not going to lie...it was really weird and a bit sad to me that I had no youth ministry to be revving up for at the beginning of this most recent school year. This reality was already having me feel a little bummed. Then, Polly and I went to Six Flags with some friends during Labor Day Weekend. The day that we chose to go happened to be the same day that the Southern New England Ministry Network youth department was having it's "Six Flags Day." This meant that I ran into a bunch of my youth pastor friends who were having fun with their youth. I was having fun too, but had no youth. It left me feeling a little bit more bummed.

What's interesting is that transitioning to missions is not actually transitioning me out of youth ministry. One of the things I'll be involved with in Costa Rica is youth ministry. This is something that John & Dina Musacchio are big into (they too were youth pastors before becoming missionaries). It's more the itineration, preparation period that has left me wanting.

I did a youth service on the Friday night I was at my brother's youth ministry in Charlotte, NC in August. It was one of those last minute, "Hey Mike, can you speak tonight?" things. I thoroughly enjoyed it. And I was already scheduled to do a couple youth services at the request of the church's senior pastor. So, I thought about it. What if, just what if Polly and I could expand our prayer and financial partnership not only through regular adult church services and family and friends, but we also could expand our partnership through youth services? Why not?! I mean, not simply asking a church if they can have us and being blessed with a youth services, but intentionally seeking youth services out. So, I started contacting my youth pastor friends and offering our services to come and share about Speed the Light, general missions, or any topic they thought might be beneficial for their students. And I immediately started getting results. We already have a number booked for the near future with more we just have to work out dates for. Talk about a win-win. In fact, out of these contacts birthed out of this desire I had two youth services last week. They were amazing. I loved every minute of being around teenagers. It was awesome!

I seriously can't wait to book more. Yeah, it's more time out of my schedule during the week. But you know what? It is so worth it! God gave me (and Polly) a heart to work with young people (as well as college students, though we have stayed involved in a local college ministry's Bible study during this itineration period so we're not really missing it). That's a fire burning within me that won't be extinguished. I don't want it to be extinguished! I love working with youth and I love the fact that I love it.

Let me quickly address the aspect of this that has me feeling older (as I alluded to in the intro). It's not that I've been out of high school as long as some of the youth I've encountered have been alive (though, come to think of it, that doesn't really help the situation). It's not that I have youth pastor friends who are young enough to have been one of my youth (that doesn't really help either...I need to stop dwelling on possible reasons and just get to the point here). It's that when I was at one of the youth ministry's service, the youth pastor described a contest they were about to do that caused the following immediate reaction out of me aloud to him: "Do you know how long I've been in youth ministry? Long enough to know this is a bad idea. I guarantee that someone will get hurt." Yep, I took on the role of the old, out-of-touch, no-fun adult yelling the situational equivalent to, "You'll poke your eye out." There was a time, I would have come up with such a game and acted upon it. I know that it's probably a good thing that I've matured to this point. But that doesn't mean that it didn't make me feel old. For the record, someone did get hurt. I felt too bad to say, "I told you so." Well, verbally anyway. I'm pretty sure I involuntarily gave a look that communicated as much.

Anyway, I'm looking forward to speaking at the youth services I already have booked. And I can't wait to get in touch with other youth pastor friends (and churches) to book more. I only wish I had thought to do this sooner. You don't know how much you cherish something until you miss it though, right? That's partially true. I knew I loved the youth at Calvary Assembly of God in Dudley, MA. I just didn't know how much they were such a significant part of my life.

What can I say? I heart youth.

In Christ,

Mike

Feeling Old

I've mentioned before that we spend a lot of time traveling around and sharing our hearts for Costa Rica with various churches these days. Some of them are churches we've been to before and some of them are churches we haven't ever been to. We love visiting churches whether it's our first time there or whether we've been there many times before. It's either an opportunity to meet new people or see old friends. I love both. The church we visited yesterday was one that I had been to before. In fact, I served as a youth/children's pastor of sorts at Vietnamese Christian Center (VCC) in Worcester, MA during the summers of my college years while my brother Stephan was serving as the church's interim pastor. So it should come as no surprise that I was excited to visit yesterday and see some old friends.

It wasn't my first time preaching at the church, but it was my first time preaching there in a few years anyway. At least, that's how I thought about it as I was getting ready for church yesterday morning. It didn't feel like it had been that long since I had last preached there. I then began to think of when the last time was. I used some simple deductive reasoning to assess that it was when I was still in college because I had become the youth pastor at Calvary Assembly of God in Dudley, MA in the summer immediately following graduation. Assuming (a fair assumption) that I last preached there during the summer in between my junior and senior years of college, that would mean that I had last preached at VCC sometime during the summer of 2004, or a little over eight years ago. That's when it hit me...I'm getting old. Let me explain.

The fact that it was eight years ago in and of itself is not really all that big a deal. I mean, as long as your over the age of eight, you clearly did something eight years ago. And nobody would argue that an 8-year-old is old. No, eight years on its own is not a big deal. BUT when you couple that with the fact that I viewed the eight years as a short period of time, it is a very big deal. I sincerely thought of it as though it wasn't that long ago, yet it was eight years. This means that eight years is a short period to me. This means that I'm getting old. I mean, think about it...eight years ago to a 16-year-old is half a lifetime ago. When I was a sophomore in high school (16), second grade (8) seemed very distant to me. That's because, relatively speaking, it was. Yep, the only reasonable conclusion to how I felt about that eight year period of time is that I'm getting old.

On the bright side, I can't be that old because I did still remember serving and preaching at VCC eight years ago. Really old people would have forgotten that.

Hmmm...you know on second thought, maybe I do feel like it was a long time ago and I'm just giving into Polly's constant reminders of how old I am as I close in on 30.

Well, regardless of how old I am or am not feeling, I thoroughly enjoyed my visit with the wonderful people at VCC yesterday. I hope it's not another eight years before I see them all again...even if it isn't that long a period of time; or is it? (this battle will be raging internally for a while). They were as loving and generous as ever.

In Christ,

Mike

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Through the Eyes of a Child

I was thinking and reflecting on my drive to work this morning when something struck me. Polly and I have shared our hearts, thoughts and feelings about our missionary itineration journey through our blogs (this blog and Polly's personal blog) and our Newsletter, but Genevieve has not had the same opportunity. So I thought it might be fun, different, unique, interesting, (insert your preferable relevant adjective here) to try to get into the mind of a 20 month old and express her heart, thoughts and feelings regarding this journey. As such, the italicized section is meant to be read as though it's from Genevieve's mind. Emboldened portions are meant to show how she would actually verbally communicate. Enjoy.

Oooh, look. A room full of toys. I could have so much fun playing with all those. Yeah, yeah, I want to play with them. Mama, put me down, put me down. "Mama. Down." Wait a minute. This morning, Mama said we're going to church. And this doesn't look like Calvary. I'm not really sure who any of these people are. Every time Mama says we're going to church, they drop me in a room full of toys with people I don't know. Whenever I turn around, they're gone. Wait a minute. They're going to do that again aren't they. They're going to leave me here and I won't get to see them for a while. Maybe forever. What if they never come back. Maybe if I cry really loud they'll know how much I don't want them to leave me and they'll just take me with them or stay and play with me. "Waaaaaaahhhhhh. Waaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh. Mama. Da-da. No. No. Mama. Da-da. No. No. Waaaaaaahhhhhhh. Waaaaaahhhhhhh." What? They're going to leave me again anyway. Why would they do this to me? I don't like when Mama and Da-da leave me. I love them so much. They love me too. I know they do because they always tell me and spend time with me. But why did they leave me again? I miss them already. I think I still hear Da-da's voice. Come to think of it, I always hear Da-da's voice. He's really loud. Well, maybe he'll still hear me if I cry loud enough and then come back and get me. I wish I could look him in the eyes. I know he cannot resist me when I look him in the eyes. But he can't see me. I can't see him. I can't see Mama. I miss them. I want them to come pick me up. "Waaaaaahhhhhhh. Mama. Da-da. Mama. Da-da. Waaaaaahhhhh." They're still not coming. I don't know why. I've been crying for a few minutes now. Oooh, look at all these toys. These look so fun. I want to play with them all. Oh, look other kids my size. Maybe they want to play with me too. I want a snack. I wonder if that nice looking lady knows where my snacks are. I could show her where they are but my bag's way up on that counter. I know, I can point to it. Oh, she is giving me my snacks. Mama must have told her about them. I'm not surprised. Mama always remembers my snacks. She loves me. I hope they come back for me. What's that noise outside the door. It sounds like there are parents out there. Maybe one of them is Mama. Is she there? I don't see her. I want this other parent to move out of the way so I can see if Mama's back them. There she goes. Who else is there? Is it Mama. Yes, it's Mama. It's Mama! "MAMA! Ah yo (I love you)! Mama! Da-da?" Oh, I hope she's bringing me to see Da-da now. Yes, every time she comes and gets me and then she brings me to Da-da. Oh, I hear a loud voice. I know that voice. That voice is..."DA-DA! Ah yo! Da-da!" I knew Da-da would want to hold me too. I know he loves me. We had a long drive this morning. I'm getting kind of sleepy. We always each lunch before we drive home. I can probably sleep in the drive home. I hope Mama and Da-da let me listen to my songs this time instead of theirs. Anyway, I'm tired. I know. I'll just lay my head on Da-da's shoulder. Mmmmm. So comfy. I knew they would come back!

I can't be certain that this is an accurate depiction of what goes on in her mind, but based on what we can see, this is the way that makes the most sense to me in trying to piece it together.

You see, when Polly and I wrote about our sense of community and our feelings about visiting different churches each week, we failed to take Genevieve's feelings into account. I mean, don't get me wrong, we think about and discuss them. We just didn't think to write about them. The truth is that Genevieve never really experienced (or at least never communicated to us) separation anxiety until we started visiting different churches every week. It is tough on her and thus tough on us to drop her off at a different church nursery with different people every week. When we stepped down from Calvary AG and stopped attending there on a weekly basis, Polly and I were not the only ones leaving behind our church family, our friends. Genevieve has friends that she loves playing with at Calvary AG. When we visited recently, I think she very much enjoyed seeing them again. She had grown used to seeing and playing with the same kids every week. It's tough for her to see different kids every week. She was used to and had grown to love her teachers. It's tough for her to see different teachers every week. In fact, we have had her returned to us at one service because she never would stop crying. They brought her into the back of the sanctuary and all could hear her yelling for Mama. But, this is a good opportunity for her to grow too. Polly's a stay-at-home mom so we never drop Genevieve off at day care. She needs to grow used to not always being with us. This is an important step in the process toward the independence she will need to thrive later in life. Hopefully, there will come a point when she does realize that we always come back for her so she doesn't have to be worried that we're going to leave her hanging. Of course, hopefully there will come a point when I realize that God will always provide for me and be there for me and that I don't have to worry that He'll leave me hanging. Hmmm...I think I just got a good sermon illustration there.

Aside from the separation anxiety situation, the other major way that Genevieve has been effected through this process is with her schedule. She usually goes down late for a nap on Sundays these days. And she often has to ride in the car for stretches of over an hour. The blessing in this is that since we've started itinerating, she's become quite content riding in the car and has even actually started taking naps in the car in the afternoon AND we can move her to her crib when we get home (she used to go 6 hours car rides without sleeping and it used to be that once she was up from a nap, she was up). She's certainly reaching a much more reasonable age for this to not be such a big deal, so that has been beneficial.

The alternative, of course, is not bringing Genevieve with us when we travel to churches, but I love having the whole family there when possible. Genevieve is a part of our missionary adventure to Costa Rica. Let's be honest, people would rather see her than me anyway. There have been a couple services where we didn't take Genevieve along for her convenience. I've even done a couple services without Polly. But we want these occasions to be the exception and not the rule.

So, if you've been praying for us and want to know what you can pray for, please pray for Genevieve as we visit different churches.

Thanks!

In Christ,

Mike

Home Sweet Home

I mentioned in our last blog (and newsletter) about traveling around to different churches every week and how that has affected our sense of community. It has been great finding community with new people at new churches. We consider it a privilege to have the opportunity to see more and more of the body of Christ each week. We truly have enjoyed our visit to every single church we've visited. At each one we've found pastors with great hearts for missions and parishioners with a desire to hear our hearts for Costa Rica. It's been amazing to me how often I've felt as though I could see myself attending these churches on a regular basis. Yet, with all that said, there have been two churches that we've visited the last few months (one of which we will be visiting again twice next month) that have been a little extra special for us: North Shore Assembly of God in Malden, MA and Capital Assembly of God in Trenton, NJ.

North Shore AG in Malden, MA is the church my (Mike's) family started attending in the spring of 1988 when I was just shy of five years old. Twenty four years later, my parents still faithfully attend this church. Though I ultimately credit my parents first and foremost for training me in the way I should go (after all, this is the parents' responsibility), the church was a great complimentary assistant in that process as well. It was during these years that I was saved, water baptized, filled with the Holy Spirit and called into ministry. I have great respect for Rev. T. Kenneth Norcross (the senior pastor when I was a small boy), Rev. Steven Antin (the man I called my senior pastor for much of my life), Rev. Anders Eliason (the current lead pastor and an associate pastor of much of my life), Rev. Matt Yukon (my first youth pastor), Rev. Troy Mini (my youth pastor through my critical high school years) and all the other pastors who served that church during my time there. I also have great respect for the many, many lay leaders who poured into my life through the years. I could probably name them all but I don't want to list them for fear that I might accidentally omit one. If you're reading this and you're one of them...thank you! It's true, I have a lot of gratitude for the people who faithfully served in various capacities at North Shore AG over the years. This is why it is still so precious and special for me when I have the opportunity to visit. This is why I was so blessed to have the opportunity to preach there in July (non-missions related) and will have the privilege to preach there twice in October (once to the youth, once in the regular Sunday worship service; both missions-related).

Capital AG in Trenton, NJ (or Hamilton, NJ if you care to be technical I suppose) is the church where Polly's mom began attending as a teenager and where Polly was raised her whole life. Much like my own life, we know that her parents were the most important people with regard to her spiritual growth, but like North Shore AG for me, the church played a great complimentary role in Polly's life. She was dedicated to the Lord there as a baby by Rev. John Cairns (the current senior pastor's father), was saved, water baptized, filled with the Holy Spirit and called into ministry while attending Capital AG. I'm sure she too could list off pastors (including Rev. Jack Cairns, the current senior pastor and her youth pastor Rev. Jeff Spuler) and lay leaders who were valuable and instrumental to her life. This is also the church where Polly and I vowed our lives to one another in holy matrimony. This is why it was so special for us to have the opportunity to preach in their missions convention this past weekend.

Yes, we have enjoyed visiting other churches and meeting new people. Yes, we love our home church of Calvary AG in Dudley, MA where we now attend their new Bible study on Wednesday nights. Yes, we will undoubtedly love the body of believers we fellowship with and find community with when we will be in Costa Rica. But nothing can ever/will ever take away from the incredibly special, unique places these churches have in our hearts. This is why I'm unashamed to say that our recent visits (and upcoming visits) to these churches are very, very dear to us.

(To see when we'll be at North Shore AG and the rest of our itineration schedule, please click on the new link on the top of this page)

In His service,

Mike

Church Family

Our church chose this past Sunday (July 1, 2012) to throw us our first "going away" party since we decided to follow God's call on our life to serve as Missionary Associates in Costa Rica. Does this mean that we're going to leave for Costa Rica soon? Not exactly. This party wasn't a send off to Costa Rica so much as a send off from the church. This was the day the church chose to recognize our years (me - 7; Polly - 5) of service to the church. We officially ended our roles in ministry at the church the previous Sunday (June 24, 2012). It is here that we made our final step from Pastors to Parishioners.

I have blogged about this situation before as an ensuing reality. I have posited how I thought I might feel when this day came. Now, for the first time, I am blogging about it from the other side. It is no longer an event that will inevitably happen; it is an event which has already taken place. And sure enough, all my positing and theorizing was right on the money: it was a bittersweet day.

Our pastor gave us a taste of what was to come at the party with a video clip put together by our youth before having our deacons pray over us. Then he offered me the microphone to say a few words. Let's be honest here, I've never said "a few words" in my life. Still, I kept it as short as could possibly be expected for me. We got many well wishes from our church family.

After church, we went to a family in the church's house. Okay, okay...so it happens to be the same family in the church that we live with. This made things convenient. We enjoyed some delicious Costa Rican inspired food (I could eat rice and beans every day...which is a good thing considering I'll have to) mixed with some good old-fashioned American hot dogs and hamburgers. They made a beautiful cake featuring the image of our prayer card. And woven into the time of eating was enjoying time with people we have come to love so dearly. And we fought back some tears when we watched all the video clips created by the youth that had been sampled earlier. They were funny but also said some really kind, encouraging things.

Overall, the party was a wonderful end to a wonderful season of ministry in our lives. Ministry with and to some amazing people. They are not technically our family, but they're not merely friends either. They are our church family and Polly and I will always love them. We love the church's leaders and we love the church's laypeople--a group we not graciously join. The cool thing in all this for us is that we're not leaving this church to become pastors at another. We are going forth from this church, as an extension of this church, to minister to the people of Costa Rica. And we are grateful that we still get to call Calvary Assembly of God our home church. Even if we won't spend too many more Sundays there, it is our church and it houses our church family!

God bless,

Mike

A Sense of Belonging

A little over a month ago, we participated in our first event as missionary itinerants. We had only received our official approval the day prior. And I'm not going to lie, we had no idea what to expect. We were completely new to the whole process. As I mentioned in previous blog posts, we were busy the whole week leading up to the event as we prepared our table display and packets. We thought we would go and gain a little exposure with some pastors and leaders and such would be our day. As it turned out, we did connect with a couple pastors and a few leaders. Without missionary cards, we didn't even have anything to leave people with except for a full promo packet that we had rushed to print the night before. Still, we felt good about this purpose being satisfied. As Polly and I reflected on that initial missionary experience, however, we both had the same feeling. The value in that day for us was not in networking or connecting with pastors and leaders. The value in that day for us was networking and connecting with the other missionaries who also had tables there. We quickly came to the following conclusion: Hanging out with other missionaries made us to feel a part of a family.

Polly and I truly felt that day that we were part of something much bigger than ourselves. We weren't an isolated family going to serve God in another country. And it wasn't going to be only us and the Musacchio's. No, we were part of a bigger family of numerous missionaries who were serving God all throughout the world. There was an instantaneous bond and connection that I can hardly describe. We built friendships that day (we already "knew" a number of the missionaries) that we believe will last us a lifetime.

We were blessed to share a table space with Neil and Kathy Vanaria (pronounce this the Italian way or else...). As such, we spent a bit of time talking with them. I "knew" them already as we share a mutual friend and have had conversations in the past. I let them know how they were the first missionaries I ever remember having at church when I was a young kid. I remember thinking how cool I thought it was that they did what they did and how I would like to do that someday. Funny how God works, no? Anyway, Neil made a comment about missionaries and used the term "we" in that comment. It hit me that he meant me too. I guess it hadn't really sunk yet that we are missionaries now too.

Neil and Kathy invited us to dinner after the event was over. We shared some great stories over some delicious food (Panera is always a good choice) with them and Sarah Blackstone. It was such a blessed time. Polly and I left feeling like we belonged...belonged to the missionary family.

The Hardest Part

Polly and I are incredibly excited about the journey that God has in store for us as we become Missionary Associates in Costa Rica. We have felt so much confirmation and direction from God throughout this process. We are confident that this is where God has us for this season in our lives. And as such, we have no regrets in making this decision. But, I would be lying if I claimed that this decision hasn't led to mixed emotions. That is to say that some aspects of this transition have been more difficult than others. And no aspect has been more difficult than the reality of moving away from family and friends.

Polly and I both come from close-knit families. We both still have great relationships with our parents, siblings and extended families. Polly and I also get along well with each other's family. Family is an important thing to us. Friends are also important to us; we have truly been blessed beyond belief with great friends. The simple truth is that Polly and I will miss our family and friends while we're in Costa Rica. But (at least to start with) it's only a three year commitment. Polly and I will get by just fine. As soon as Polly and I made the decision to go to Costa Rica, our first thought was not about leaving our family and friends; our first thought was about taking Genevieve away from her family and friends.

When Polly and I had Genevieve, our family ties became even stronger. Genevieve is Polly's parent's only grandchild and Polly's siblings only niece or nephew. Genevieve is my parent's only granddaughter and only their second grandchild. She is my siblings first niece. She has four loving grandparents, five loving great-grandparents, thirteen loving aunts and uncles, one incredibly cute and loving first cousin and many other loving great-aunts, great-uncles, cousins and friends. Needless to say, Genevieve is well loved. And even though three years is not a long time for Polly and me, these are three huge years developmentally for Genevieve (she will be gone from ages 2-5). There is a part of us that feels like we are robbing our family and friends of the joy of watching Genevieve grow up.

And yet, with all that said, we know that we are making the right decision. As I mentioned in yesterdays blog post, we just have a new perspective on things now. We have been given a new appreciation for Luke 9:61, 62 which says, "Yet another said, 'I will follow you, Lord, but let me first say farewell to those at my home.' Jesus said to him, 'No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for the kingdom of God.'" (ESV; In the NIV it reads, "but first let me go back and say goodbye to my family.") Jesus was not devaluing family when He said this; He was simply valuing himself. Jesus is always to be our priority. It is more important to obey God than anything else. And, out of trust for God, I know that He will take care of my family better than I can. He is, after all, our creator and knows us better than we know ourselves. I trust that the Lord has my family's best interest at heart. In fact, working through this difficult part of the process, I believe that God has helped me to better understand the significance and value of family and relationships. I would even go so far as to say that I believe through this insight, God has equipped me to be a better husband, father, son, brother, grandson, nephew, friend, pastor, etc. There are two major parts to this insight:

1. Purpose of Family and Friends - I believe that God has better helped me understand the purpose of family and friends. We see throughout the Bible that God is relational. God has many relational descriptions in the Bible, but my favorite is the description of God as our heavenly Father. Romans 8:15 says, "For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, 'Abba! Father!" (see also 2 Cor. 6:18; Psalm 89:26; 1 John 3:1; Matt. 5:16). God is relational. And we know from Genesis 1:27 that God created us in His image. If we look further, Genesis 2:18 says, "The LORD God said, 'It is not good for man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.'" Genesis 2:22 tells us that God formed woman from the man and then 2:24 says, "That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh." God is relational. God made us like Him. Thus, we are relational. We all have a desire for relationships. And to satisfy those desires, God blesses us with family and friends. We should thank God for His favor in blessing us with these relationships. This reminder has encouraged me to be more grateful of my family and friends.

To better understand Luke 9:61, 62, we must understand that no matter how strong our relationships might be with our family and friends, it will never come close to joy and fulfillment that our relationship with God brings. Our relationship with God was broken by our sin (Romans 3:23), but was made complete again by Jesus' death and resurrection (Romans 6:23). It is by God's grace which we have through the faith He gifts us (Ephesians 2:8, 9) that we can accept what Christ did for us (Romans 10:9, 10) and be reconciled with God, having a renewed relationship with Him. Our decisions should always be made with this truth in mind. Everything that we do should be to honor God. Honoring God will always bring us more joy and fulfillment. And when we love our family and friends and treat them well, we honor God. This is a positive thing. So, let's be careful to cherish those whom God has blessed us with while still putting our relationship with Him first!

2. Role Shift - I have said before that once I became a father, I sensed a shifting of roles in the structure of family. Up until that point I had always viewed myself as my parent's child. But from the moment that Genevieve was born, I began viewing myself as my child's parent. My parents used to refer to themselves as "Dad" and "Mom" but from the moment my nephew Sean was born, they began referring to themselves as "Grampie" and "Grammie." This is a simple reality of life. As we grow up, our roles shift. It is with this reality in mind that I can foresee a day when my role will shift again. Genevieve will someday grow up and have a family of her own. I will be the "Grampie." Granted, this is a long time from now, but everyone always says how fast it goes. With the foresight that Genevieve will someday have her own family and will someday be faced with similar decisions, I recognize that it's possible that she will move away from Polly and me. With this in mind, I want to do all that I can to enjoy the time that God blesses us with her now in order to prepare her for that day. This perspective helps to keep me motivated to be the best father that I can be.

So, you see, there are difficult aspects that go with this decision to transition from everything we know to a place where we've never been. But we are not worried or afraid, because we know that God will lead us and take care of us every step of the way! I believe that God is saying the same to me that He said to Joshua in Joshua 1:9, "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.'"

Mike