The Impact of Hugs

We have had some amazing ministry and personal experiences in Costa Rica. As we move into our final three months here, I have begun the process of reflecting on some of those. While reflecting, a "simple" question came to mind: Which experiences have impacted me the most?

Of course, this is not really a simple question at all. It takes a lot of processing for me to assess these kinds of questions. But I want to take some opportunities over the next few months to unpack and share some of the most impactful experiences, events and moments from our time in Costa Rica.

It's hard to say which is the most impactful but I want to start with the one which has stood out to me the most during these recent contemplations: Hugs.

I love hugs.

I hug my wife and children multiple times each day. And they hug me. I also often hug other family and friends. I guess you could say that I'm a hugger.

So perhaps it's no surprise that some of my favorite, most impactful moments here have involved hugs. While I cannot share an exhaustive list, I wanted to share some examples.

1. Fatherly Hugs

I wrote a blog entry about these hugs when I had this incredible experience. Let me share a summary. We were asked by a church to help with a children's ministry event. One of the teaching sessions was on fatherhood. I was with the younger kids for this session (up to age 6). The session was followed by a time of prayer. During this time I was approached by the teacher who asked if I would hug each kid with a fatherly hug and pray a prayer of blessing over them.

The first kid latched onto me and didn't want to let me go. I just stood there hugging this boy and letting him hug me. They finally had to pull him off of me to allow a chance for the other kids.

The last kid also grabbed hold of me and just laid on my shoulder for a long time while his aunt stood by bawling. I later found out he didn't have a dad.

I have kids and love to hug them as their dad. And while those kids were not my kids, for that day those kids (especially the first and last) were like my kids and I hugged them as a dad. It was one of the most special and powerful moments of my life.

2. Constant Hugs

I'll never forget when I heard that some students at the Latin America ChildCare (LACC) school in Linda Vista lost their house to a fire. I was asked to go and take photos so we could see how we could help. We ended up having the privilege of helping the family build a new home. But more than that we became friends with this family and we became close with the kids. To this day, the 3rd and 4th kids of the family give me big hugs when they see me at the school. And I can feel the love with every hug. It's something so genuine and so precious.

3. Comforting Hugs

One privilege has been the opportunity to pray over kids here in Costa Rica, especially in our LACC schools. Last year during the 5th grade spiritual emphasis chapel I was asked to pray for one of the students, one of the chicos I had been working with, as he was going through a tough time. I couldn't really do much but pray over him and wrap my arm around his shoulder to comfort him as he wept. 

4. Random Hugs

I was recently at the Linda Vista school when a kindergartner randomly approached me and gave me a hug before he returned to where he was sitting on the steps. I do not know why he hugged me and likely never will but I'm glad that he did.

Another recent situation found me at our school in Los Cuadros. Genevieve was with me and wanted to stay to watch a movie other missionaries were showing to a group of students. During the movie this one sweet little girl just kept snuggling up to my arm and shoulder before finally propping herself against my knee for the rest of the movie.

Final thoughts...

As I said, there are other examples I'm sure I could share (and Polly could add even more to that) but these are the ones that stood out to me the most. It occurs to me that all of these hugs have something in common: I didn't/don't deserve any of them. I am blessed and feel privileged to have these opportunities. Maybe that's why these moments stand out to me above so many other amazing experiences we've had here.

Oops! Moments

After 30+ years of living in the U.S. (mostly Massachusetts), I arrived in Costa Rica with my family to learn the language and culture of Latin America. 2+ years in, we feel like we have learned a good bit of each. Of course, 2 things remain undeniably true:

1. We have made and still make mistakes culturally and linguistically in Costa Rica; and
2. Latin American countries are not exactly the same, neither in language nor culture.

With truth #2 in mind, we expected some cultural and linguistic differences when we visited Bolivia last week to check out the place where we feel the Lord is calling us.

Costa Rica Oops Moments

Before we look at a couple of those oops moments in Bolivia let's go back to truth #1 above and relive my 3 worst oops moments (so far) in Costa Rica.

1. Hole punch

Shortly after our arrival in Costa Rica, I went to a local store looking for a 3-hole punch.  The problem: I didn't know the word for it. I found a dictionary in the store, but it didn't have the word. So I found a word for "hole" and a word for "punch."

Armed with "hoyo poncho," hand motions and "uno, dos, tres," I gave it my best shot. I knew it wasn't right, but I didn't know what else to do. The worker looked at me and in perfect English asked, "You need a 3-hole punch?" In hindsight, I should have asked if he spoke English first.

2. Walk of shame

You know...that time I was the only man walking down to the front of a church with hundreds (perhaps thousands) of women.

3. False cognate

I was talking with 2 tica friends (though we were in Panama at the time) once about the health concerns of foods with preservatives. Well that's what I wanted to be talking with them about anyway. I quickly found out the word was not "preservativos" as I had suspected...it was "preservantes." "Preservativos" happens to be another word for prophylactics. Oops.

4. Deaf or Left-handed?

I once told a tica friend that Polly knows sign language because her parents are deaf. Actually, that's what I meant to say. What I did say was that her parents are left-handed. Why the confusion? Surdo = left-handed; Sordo = deaf. My dad, for the record, is a lefty...as may be Jonah.

Bolivia Oops Moments

Okay, back to Bolivia. While we didn't have many oops moments there, two do stand out. One was cultural and the other linguistic.

1. A Bolivian greeting

During our first day in Bolivia, I met a local pastor who oversees an LACC school. At one point he shook my hand and came in for a hug. Well, it seemed to me he was coming in for a hug anyway. I'm a hugger and many ticos are huggers so it seemed right. As I hugged him he put his hand on my shoulder, pushed me away and said, "Okay, okay." It was awkward but no biggie.

It wasn't until the next day that I found myself in a similar situation. I finally figured out what was going on. My missionary friend in Bolivia had forgotten to give me the heads up on the proper Bolivian greeting between two men: They shake hands, with the same hand pat the back of the left shoulder of the other man twice and then shake hands a second time. That pastor must have thought I was crazy.

2. Tico

Having learned Spanish in Costa Rica, it should come as no surprise that I use a number of words that are common here but nowhere else. I used them a few times and got blank stares but I generally did well to avoid them. Only one provided a funny moment.

I used the word "tico" when I referred to people or things from Costa Rica. That's the word I always use in Costa Rica and throughout Central America. Well, apparently this term for Costa Rican has not made its way to Bolivia. To make matters worse, they do use the word, just differently.

So when I told a group of pastors, "My son was born in Costa Rica so he's a tico," they laughed. Only later did I find out that they use it to mean "little people." While my son is in fact little he is not a "little person" and that's not what I meant to tell that particular group of pastors.