Words Hurt Worse than Sticks and Stones

• Good job.
• I'm proud of you.
• You look beautiful.
• You are a great [insert noun here].

Compliments. Words of encouragement. We all love to hear them, don't we? I know I do. It not only makes me feel good when people make positive comments about me, but it inspires me to continue improving and doing well in those areas. And it makes me want to encourage others.

• I'm so sick of you.
• Why do you always have to [insert negative action here]?
• Why are you always so [insert negative characteristic here]?
• You are stupid.

Negative criticisms. Words of discouragement. We don't love these so much, do we? I know I don't. Not only does it make me feel bad when people make negative comments about me, but it makes me either want to "show them" (with impure motives) or just discourages me. Worse than that, however, I find it makes me more negative too.

Now, don't misunderstand me. I'm not blaming others for my own poor attitude or decisions. I am responsible for my own decisions. But as imperfect people, I am speaking of the reality that these things tend to impact us. As the saying goes, "Hurt people hurt people."

"Sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will ever hurt me." Have you ever heard this old saying? Sorry to be negative for a moment, but I totally disagree with it. Words absolutely can and often do hurt us, much deeper than any physical injury sticks and stones could cause.

Perhaps you're a positive person always looking to compliment. If you are, that's awesome. Please keep being you. But if you're like me, then you struggle with this sometimes.

I sometimes find it so much easier to see the negative than the positive. Not only in others, but also in myself. But there's no benefit in such negativity.

Proverbs 18:21 says:

Death and life are in the power of the tongue,   and those who love it will eat its fruits.

Words can hurt. But words can heal too. Let's be honest with ourselves. There are enough people speaking death over the people in our lives that they can use some words of life from us. It may be difficult because of the negativity we hear in our own lives. But we must be intentional and push through the negativity and choose to be people who speak life today.

Hurt people do tend to hurt people. But hurt people who find the grace and mercy Christ offers to empower them to lay their hurt at His feet can overcome and help heal (love, encourage) people.

So let's be intentional today and remember the following:

It's better to compliment than criticize.

It's better to encourage than enrage.

One of Those Days

Have you ever had one of those days? As ambiguous as that phrase is, I bet you know what I mean and I'm sure you've had more than one of them. Well, today is one of those days for me.

So many causes.

So many things can cause one of those days, ranging from minor to serious. Some of my past examples include:

• Being stuck in traffic
• Running late for work
• Receiving bad news
• Receiving an unexpected bill
• Losing money
• Having car troubles
• Waking up with a cold
• Waking up "on the wrong side of the bed"
• Getting into an argument

A changed perspective.

I want to share something that changed my outlook a couple of years ago regarding "one of those days." I cannot recall the cause way back then but I remember that I was having one of those days. At one point I finally just said, 

This has just been a bad day.

I immediately felt convicted. God creates every day. And everything that God creates is good. There are no bad days! It would be disingenuous to suggest that some aren't more challenging than others, but they're not bad. This creates a philosophical shift in our thinking because no matter what discouragement may come along, there are encouraging things too.

Psalm 3 says (in the ESV):

A Psalm of David, when he fled from Absalom his son.

1 O LORD, how many are my foes!
Many are rising against me;
2 many are saying of my soul,
there is no salvation for him in God. Selah

3 But you, O LORD, are a shield about me,
my glory, and the lifter of my head.
4 I cried aloud to the LORD,
and he answered me from his holy hill. Selah

5 I lay down and slept;
I woke again, for the LORD sustained me.
6 I will not be afraid of many thousands of people
who have set themselves against me all around.

7 Arise, O LORD!
Save me, O my God!
For you strike all my enemies on the cheek;
you break the teeth of the wicked.

8 Salvation belongs to the LORD;
your blessing be on your people! Selah

David was having "one of those days." But I love how David responds. He acknowledges that the Lord is the lifter of his head. And as verse 5 points out, even the fact that we wake up is cause to thank God.

What caused today's "one of those days"?

I just had a bit of discouragement with raising our budget. After an amazing 25 day period, we haven't seen any movement in our budget over the past 4 days.

It's hard work to raise a budget. It's tough to not be in control of our own future. Yet, we'd have it no other way. God has never let us down. His ways are always better than our ways. I trust Him to be in control more than I trust myself.

Thankfully I have an encouraging wife who reminds me to hold on to faith. I do believe that we're leaving in August. I know that doesn't add up using our logic, but I'm reminded of Proverbs 3:5, 6 which says, "Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths."

I will trust in the LORD. Like David, I know where my help comes from. I know who lifts my head when it hangs low. So today, rather than simply pray to see the hand of God (provision) I will pray to see the face of God (intimacy).

I wrote this blog because I knew that I would read the Bible and be encouraged. When I write, I can read my own advice. Maybe you're having "one of those days." I pray you'll be encouraged and put your trust in God.