First, I thank God for creating us as relational beings and for creating the family unit. The Bible tells us in Genesis that God created all things. Over and over again, when we read these accounts of His creation, we see that He saw that it was good. But when God makes man, for the first and only time He makes an interesting observation: It is not good for man to be alone. This is the only time in the creation account that God calls something not good. What was God's solution? I believe that answer becomes clear when we read the entire verse that I referenced above with regard to God's calling man's loneliness "not good." Genesis 2:18* reads, "The the LORD God said, 'It is not good that man should be alone; I will make a helper fit for him.'" God's solution was a relationship. In fact, we read the following words of Jesus in Mark 10:6-9: "But from the beginning of creation, 'God made them male and female.' 'Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.' So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.'" Anyone who has ever attending a Christian wedding has likely heard that verse before. The Bible actually has a lot to say about the family unit. When describing the trinity, two of the distinct persons (important note: there is only one God, who is three distinct persons; this truth is referred to theologically as "the trinity.") are referred to in familial terms: God the Father and Jesus, God the Son. Paul dedicates a section of Ephesians to a description of how various members of the familial should treat each other: Husbands to wives, wives to husbands, children to parents and fathers to children (Ephesians 5:22-6:4). Exodus 20:12 lists the fifth of the Ten Commandments given to the Israelites which informs children to obey their parents. Paul alludes to this in the Ephesians passage I referenced. And even all this doesn't begin to scratch the surface of the Bible's references to the family unit. God created and ordained the family unit. So my thanks for my family ultimately belongs to Him.
So, who is my family that I am thankful for? Let me do my best to list them as follows, along with some specifics that I am thankful for with regard to the two most important people in my life:
My Wife
Polly - As I mentioned above, when Polly and I were married, we ceased being two separate individuals and became one. We are unified. I love Polly more than my words could ever express with the deepest love I can. Now, I know I'm not perfect. Sometimes I can be short while at others I can be a whining baby, but I truly do love her, praying for her daily and daily asking God to help me love Polly "as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her" (quote taken in context from Ephesians 5:25). Though I fall short, I attempt to satisfy proper love as defined in 1 Corinthians 13. Specifically, 1 Corinthians 13:2-7 reads, "Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things." One good test for yourself is to replace the word "love" in this passage with your name. Would the statements be true? I know they're not always true for me, but I do try my best to love Polly the best I can.
So what do I love so much about Polly? Where do I even begin with that. No matter what I say here, it will not be an exhaustive account for the numerous reasons I love her. The truth is that I discover new reasons I love her all the time. With that said, let me list a few reasons:
I love Polly because she:
Is a godly woman (more about that below)
Is beautiful
Is funny
Is smart
Is nurturing
Is gentle
Is sarcastic (in appropriate situations; this is important to me)
Is kind
Is fun to be around
Is an amazing mother
Loves me
As I said, I could go on for a while. I won't. But I do want to touch on her being a godly woman. The Bible contains a passage that describes an excellent wife. It is found in Proverbs 31:10-31. In the original Hebrew it is written as an acrostic poem with each line beginning with the successive letter in the Hebrew alphabet. It loses that poetic structure when translated to the English but not it's meaning. Is says:
10 An excellent wife who can find?
She is far more precious than jewels.
11 The heart of her husband trusts in her,
and he will have no lack of gain.
12 She does him good, and not harm,
all the days of her life.
13 She seeks wool and flax,
and works with willing hands.
14 She is like the ships of the merchant;
she brings her food from afar.
15 She rises while it is yet night
and provides food for her household
and portions for her maidens.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard.
17 She dresses herself with strength
and makes her arms strong.
18 She perceives that her merchandise is profitable.
Her lamp does not go out at night.
19 She puts her hands to the distaff,
and her hands hold the spindle.
20 She opens her hand to the poor
and reaches out her hands to the needy.
21 She is not afraid of snow for her household,
for all her household are clothed in scarlet.
22 She makes bed coverings for herself;
her clothing is fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is known in the gates
when he sits among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them;
she delivers sashes to the merchant.
25 Strength and dignity are her clothing,
and she laughs at the time to come.
26 She opens her mouth with wisdom,
and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
27 She looks well to the ways of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children rise up and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women have done excellently,
but you surpass them all.”
30 Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain,
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
31 Give her of the fruit of her hands,
and let her works praise her in the gates.
She is far more precious than jewels.
11 The heart of her husband trusts in her,
and he will have no lack of gain.
12 She does him good, and not harm,
all the days of her life.
13 She seeks wool and flax,
and works with willing hands.
14 She is like the ships of the merchant;
she brings her food from afar.
15 She rises while it is yet night
and provides food for her household
and portions for her maidens.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard.
17 She dresses herself with strength
and makes her arms strong.
18 She perceives that her merchandise is profitable.
Her lamp does not go out at night.
19 She puts her hands to the distaff,
and her hands hold the spindle.
20 She opens her hand to the poor
and reaches out her hands to the needy.
21 She is not afraid of snow for her household,
for all her household are clothed in scarlet.
22 She makes bed coverings for herself;
her clothing is fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is known in the gates
when he sits among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them;
she delivers sashes to the merchant.
25 Strength and dignity are her clothing,
and she laughs at the time to come.
26 She opens her mouth with wisdom,
and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
27 She looks well to the ways of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children rise up and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women have done excellently,
but you surpass them all.”
30 Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain,
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
31 Give her of the fruit of her hands,
and let her works praise her in the gates.
In my opinion, Polly embodies what it is to be an excellent wife.
My Daughter
Genevieve - Genevieve is the most beautiful, amazing, precious, sweet, intelligent little girl that any dad could ever hope for. I know that many men love to have boys that they can play rough with and teach sports to. I, too, would love to have a son someday for those same and other reasons. But I would be lying if I said that I didn't always want a daughter first. I have always wanted that daddy's girl. And as much as Genevieve loves her mother, she is a daddy's girl.
Anyone who read the blog post I wrote on my wedding anniversary last month knows how seriously I take my responsibilities as Genevieve's father. It is a responsibility that I do not take lately but also one that I completely enjoy.
It's been so fun watching Genevieve grow up. It's amazing to me to see how big she is getting, how much she knows and how much she talks (I think she gets that from her mom). My life changed the day she was born. I can sit and tell you about all the things that Polly and I can't do anymore now that we're responsible for her precious little life, but I honestly just don't think of things that way. No, I am thankful for the little life God blessed Polly and me with and entrusted to us. As Polly reminded me a couple of nights ago when Genevieve vomited, it's an honor and privilege to clean up our daughter's vomit. Some people are not able to enjoy the blessings we enjoy as parents. We don't take that lightly.
I hope to always be an active part of my daughter's life.
My First Family
It's said that you can pick your friends but you cannot pick your family. Well, that's true up until you pick your spouse and I suppose also if you ever adopt. But that statement does hold true for my first family. What do I mean when I say my first family? Well, that's easy...I mean the people that made up my first family unit. You see, before I was a husband and a father, I was a son and a brother, a nephew and a grandson, a cousin and an uncle (well, before I was a father for that last one anyway). Now don't get me wrong, I never stopped being any of those things. I have never taken off the son hat or the brother hat, the nephew hat or the grandson hat, the cousin hat or the uncle hat. It's just that when I hear the word family these days, the first hats that come to mind are the husband hat and the father hat. God blessed me with the opportunity to begin my own family unit, to start my own family traditions, to build my own family legacy. And for that I am grateful. Though this changed my perspective of family, this didn't diminish my first family's importance to me. I love them all with all my heart. I would do anything for my family. It's just that we don't throw random stuff into our bunk bed and call it "Garbage Truck" or line of the kitchen chairs to play "Choo-choo Train" anymore.
Dad & Mom - I have made it no secret that my parents had a big influence on my life. They taught me how to love God first and then family above all else. I still call them for advice and wisdom or even just to talk. And it doesn't hurt that Genevieve loves calling Grampie and Grammie too.
Shan - When I was little, she was Momma Shanda. Now, she's Shan. But that just shows a change in name, not in love. I also love her boyfriend Zach.
Stephan - My big brother who has always been there to talk theology along with many other intellectual discussions. We were roommates for a short time after I graduated college which only strengthened an already strong bond. I love his wife MyTam, who is awesome; I am so thankful she is a part of our family.
Dawn - Dawn and I grew much closer when we both lived in Missouri while I and her husband (whom I also love and with whom I used to play Prime Time for Sega way back in the day and with whom I also enjoy many great theological and other intellectual discussions) were both attending the same college (I'm not sure if I should still call it CBC or if I should cave and already begin calling it Evangel). I love that we got to enjoy that special time together.
Jon - I mean no disrespect to my other siblings, my parents or anyone else when I say this, but aside from my wife and my daughter there is no person I love more in this world than my brother. I cannot watch "A River Runs Through It" ever again because it reminds me of our relationship and it caused a panic attack at the thought of either of us not being around some day. I know this is a reality of life, but the movie just made it too real. We were the ones who fought the most, but we were also the ones who loved the best. There have been good times and bad times, ups and downs, but I would never trade away any of the moments I have shared with him. And now thanks to the birth of his son Sean, Sean and Sean's mom Siobhan (as well as her parents, her brother Rich as well as Maura, Vaunie and Breezy) have become a very important part of our family and our lives. I love them all so dearly.
My Extended Family
My extended family includes my grandparents (both of my dad's parents as both of my mom's parents have passed away), numerous aunts, uncles, cousins and thanks to my wonderful marriage an awesome father-in-law Byron, mother-in-law Marilyn, brother-in-law Leroy & his wife Karen, brother-in-law RIdge as well as Polly's grandparents (her dad's mom and both of her mom's parents), aunts, uncles and cousins. As if that wasn't enough, we also consider the Violettes (with whom we've lived for four years) to be like family. In fact, I don't think Genevieve would understand it any differently. I wish I could write things about all my extended family in the same way that I did about the rest of my family, but this post is already plenty long enough. Let's just suffice it to say that I'm thankful for all of them, love them all and pray for them all regularly!
God created family...and I'm so thankful He did!
In Christ,
Mike
* All Scriptures given using the The Holy Bible, English Standard Version Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a division of Good News Publishers.
* All Scriptures given using the The Holy Bible, English Standard Version Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a division of Good News Publishers.
