Finding the Balance

Last week was our Assemblies of God national pastors' meetings (Asamblea General) in Costa Rica. What a great time connecting with friends and making new ones. This country is in great hands with excellent pastors and leaders.

Beyond the meetings themselves, the 2 days I spent there really offered a good glimpse into the balance between finishing well here and preparing for our upcoming transition and itineration.

Double Duty Scheduling

As we told pastor friends our plans to leave in August, a number of them wanted to be sure to schedule us to come and preach at their churches before leaving. We also scheduled a couple of kids' ministry classes to teach and a potential final trip into the jungle to minister to the indigenous.

We had submitted our newsletter on one of the first day I was at the meetings. In the newsletters we let pastors know that we're beginning to schedule services from when we're home in August until the end of the year. So I was on my phone responding to requests for itineration services.

We were (are) building 2 different schedules. One for the remainder of our time here and the other for our return to the States. This really offers a good picture of where we are right now. We are committed to the people of Costa Rica and our responsibilities here until the end. We want to finish strong and finish well. And then there's the need to set up our schedule for when we arrive in the States to prepare for Bolivia. It's a balance.

Itineration

We are going to keep going strong here. We love the people and we love what we are able to do. And we look forward to still learning as much as we can these final months here. But I want to take this opportunity to focus more on when we'll be home for itineration.

As I mentioned we are looking to fill up our schedule from when we're home in August until the end of 2016. We can't really schedule further in advance because we still await official approval as appointed missionaries, which would be in October. We believe God is in this and that everything will work with this, but we still leave it in His hands and ask you to pray that His will be done as we go to our interview. If we are approved, we will immediately begin filling our 2017 schedule as well.

There are 3 encounters we would like to schedule:

1. Churches - We would love opportunities to come and share our hearts at churches in Sunday or Wednesday services, children's services, youth services, small groups, men's groups, women's groups, etc. This is true both for already supporting churches and potential supporting churches.
2. Pastors - We would love to connect with pastors and/or missions leadership of churches over coffee. While we love connecting with the whole church body, we understand that sometimes this works better for some pastors for various reasons.
3. Individuals - We have a decent amount of monthly support and one-time donations which has come from family, friends and complete strangers. We would love to connect and share our hearts on a personal level with those who partner with us financially or who would like to consider financial partnership.

We are also asking for prayer and really want to work on building our prayer team more intentionally and strategically so stay tuned for more about how we'll be implementing this aspect of partnership.

Please pray that the details will still come together regarding where we'll be staying, how we'll be traveling, Genevieve's schooling and other technically details.

We're doubly excited I guess. Excited for what's already here (ministry in Costa Rica) and what's to come (the transition to ministry in Bolivia).

Oops! Moments

After 30+ years of living in the U.S. (mostly Massachusetts), I arrived in Costa Rica with my family to learn the language and culture of Latin America. 2+ years in, we feel like we have learned a good bit of each. Of course, 2 things remain undeniably true:

1. We have made and still make mistakes culturally and linguistically in Costa Rica; and
2. Latin American countries are not exactly the same, neither in language nor culture.

With truth #2 in mind, we expected some cultural and linguistic differences when we visited Bolivia last week to check out the place where we feel the Lord is calling us.

Costa Rica Oops Moments

Before we look at a couple of those oops moments in Bolivia let's go back to truth #1 above and relive my 3 worst oops moments (so far) in Costa Rica.

1. Hole punch

Shortly after our arrival in Costa Rica, I went to a local store looking for a 3-hole punch.  The problem: I didn't know the word for it. I found a dictionary in the store, but it didn't have the word. So I found a word for "hole" and a word for "punch."

Armed with "hoyo poncho," hand motions and "uno, dos, tres," I gave it my best shot. I knew it wasn't right, but I didn't know what else to do. The worker looked at me and in perfect English asked, "You need a 3-hole punch?" In hindsight, I should have asked if he spoke English first.

2. Walk of shame

You know...that time I was the only man walking down to the front of a church with hundreds (perhaps thousands) of women.

3. False cognate

I was talking with 2 tica friends (though we were in Panama at the time) once about the health concerns of foods with preservatives. Well that's what I wanted to be talking with them about anyway. I quickly found out the word was not "preservativos" as I had suspected...it was "preservantes." "Preservativos" happens to be another word for prophylactics. Oops.

4. Deaf or Left-handed?

I once told a tica friend that Polly knows sign language because her parents are deaf. Actually, that's what I meant to say. What I did say was that her parents are left-handed. Why the confusion? Surdo = left-handed; Sordo = deaf. My dad, for the record, is a lefty...as may be Jonah.

Bolivia Oops Moments

Okay, back to Bolivia. While we didn't have many oops moments there, two do stand out. One was cultural and the other linguistic.

1. A Bolivian greeting

During our first day in Bolivia, I met a local pastor who oversees an LACC school. At one point he shook my hand and came in for a hug. Well, it seemed to me he was coming in for a hug anyway. I'm a hugger and many ticos are huggers so it seemed right. As I hugged him he put his hand on my shoulder, pushed me away and said, "Okay, okay." It was awkward but no biggie.

It wasn't until the next day that I found myself in a similar situation. I finally figured out what was going on. My missionary friend in Bolivia had forgotten to give me the heads up on the proper Bolivian greeting between two men: They shake hands, with the same hand pat the back of the left shoulder of the other man twice and then shake hands a second time. That pastor must have thought I was crazy.

2. Tico

Having learned Spanish in Costa Rica, it should come as no surprise that I use a number of words that are common here but nowhere else. I used them a few times and got blank stares but I generally did well to avoid them. Only one provided a funny moment.

I used the word "tico" when I referred to people or things from Costa Rica. That's the word I always use in Costa Rica and throughout Central America. Well, apparently this term for Costa Rican has not made its way to Bolivia. To make matters worse, they do use the word, just differently.

So when I told a group of pastors, "My son was born in Costa Rica so he's a tico," they laughed. Only later did I find out that they use it to mean "little people." While my son is in fact little he is not a "little person" and that's not what I meant to tell that particular group of pastors.

A Tale of Two Cities

Polly and I had a great trip to Bolivia last week. We left feeling encouraged and further confirmation that this is the country where God is calling us to serve. In our last blog post, I shared about how we came to this point. Today I wanted to share about some of the process and prayer requests to actually get us there.

The Switch

We knew we were going to switch from missionary associates to career missionaries after one term in Costa Rica. Knowing we were going to switch and actually walking through the process are two very different things. We have already completed most of the application process with only a few simple steps remaining. Assuming all this goes well we will be invited to our official interviews in Springfield, MO in October. If all goes well there, we will leave as officially appointed career missionaries.

• Please pray that all our paperwork is well received and for favor in the last real step we have remaining, our physicals.
• Please pray for favor in the interviews. This is not like a regular job interview. We're not just trying to show qualifications. We need to express our heart and why we desire to go to Bolivia. Please pray that God would give us clarity and the right words to communicate all that we need to communicate.

Partnership Building

We will actually begin sharing at churches before we are officially appointed. We are limited in what we can really do and accomplish prior to appointment, however. After appointment, we will have to redo paperwork for all current financial partners who want to stay on board with us and then will have to pick up a lot more.

• Please pray that churches and individuals will want to stay on board with us and that redoing paperwork and commitments will go smoothly.
• Please pray for God to already begin putting more churches and individuals in our path to financially partner with us.
• Please pray that God would help us build a stronger prayer partnership for our time in Bolivia.
• Please pray that God will work out all the details regarding where we'll live and what we'll drive, etc. while we're in the States working on this part of the process.

The Ministry

We still need to decide exactly which ministries we want to be involved with when we arrive in Bolivia. We feel good about a couple of things already which fit into our vision of "Seeing entire families made whole."

• Please pray that God would help us as we make decisions on which ministries to be involved with.
• Please pray that God would help us develop those ministries and help us prepare well once those ministries are identified.

A Tale of Two Cities

A big decision we need to make is which city we will live in once we go to Bolivia. There are 3 major cities and we are really only considering 2 (though who knows if that could change as well): Cochabamba and Santa Cruz. We visited both during our trip. There are many aspects that go into such a decision including: family considerations, team building, location with regard to ministry endeavors, need, etc. Ultimately we want God to show us and not just make a decision based on our own wisdom. We will also be looking to seek guidance from leadership to help us with this decision.

• Please pray for God to clearly reveal His will to us with regard to the city where we should live. 
• Please pray for constructive and helpful conversations with leadership regarding this topic.
• Please pray for God to send more missionaries to all 3 of these cities.

There's obviously more things to consider and more that needs prayer like how the transition will affect us personally, the kids, etc. But I wanted to highlight some of the major things. Please feel free to trust God and pray as He would lead you, even beyond what I've shared on this post.

Bolivia

When we began the process in 2011 of applying to become missionary associates to serve a 2+ year term in Costa Rica, we knew that it was only the beginning of our life in missions. We wanted to take this time to learn more about missions and ministering cross-culturally. 

We finally arrived in Costa Rica in January 2014. We immediately began learning Spanish and culture. We also began developing friendships among the nationals. After our time in language school, we began serving in a number of capacities under missionary Mary Mahon. This has included a lot of work within children's ministry and more specifically a lot of work with our Latin America ChildCare schools.

In November of 2015 we found ourselves at a bit of a crossroads. We realized that we had to begin thinking and praying about what our future would hold. We knew we would want to transition to full-time missions. What we didn't know, however, was where we would serve.

A Seed Planted

During the week of Thanksgiving 2015 we attended a regional retreat in Mexico. While there, I felt a number of the messages directed at us. I felt like God was preparing us for an upcoming transition. Then the unthinkable happened. For the first time in my life, I felt like God began to put a specific country on my heart. Out of a seemingly chance poolside meeting with a missionary, God began to lay the burden for Bolivia on my heart.

The crazy thing was that I had never considered Bolivia before. In fact, it's probably the Latin American country I would have been most likely to forget before all this. But I left the retreat feeling that God was burdening my heart with this country.

Confirmation after Confirmation

At the airport on our way back from the retreat, I was having a conversation with a missionary friend who works with pastors' kids here in Costa Rica. God had began putting that ministry on my heart as well. I asked him if he knew of any countries with a need for that ministry. His answer was Bolivia. Okay, I'm listening God.

While talking to the director of LACC about potentially working with this ministry we love so much moving forward we asked him where their biggest need is. Yep, that's right...Bolivia.

The area directors for the Andean where Bolivia falls seemed very excited when we told them what God was putting on our hearts. The wife told us she was hoping that was the country we would say when she learned we wanted to go to their area.

Through a number of means and methods, God kept confirming Bolivia. I kept seeing its name and it seemed to be the answer to every question.

Putting the Pieces Together

Where are we now? Well, trying to put all the pieces together.

We're in the application process to become career missionaries. We don't see any reason this won't be accepted, but we're praying God's will be done and favor through the process.

Polly and I just returned from a quick visit to the country where we were able to meet with national leaders, pastors and a couple of our missionary units there. The biggest question is where we will live within Bolivia as we are weighing to options very seriously.

Nothing is official. Nothing is definite. No ministries are determined. But our heart is burning within us. God has even given us a vision: to see entire families made whole.

Why share something so indefinite in reality? Because it's so definite in our hearts and we would love all the prayer for favor and wisdom in this situation as possible. We will be okay if God ultimately leads us a different way, but unless He does we're all in on Bolivia.

And if everything goes to plan, we hope to arrive there in Summer/Fall 2017 after spending about a year in the States sharing our hearts and raising partnerships both financial and in prayer.

Husband and Father

Some people call me a missionary. The most important people call me daddy.

My most important job in life...the most important ministry God has given to me is my role as husband and father. I'm husband to an amazing woman and dad to two incredible kids, a 5 year old girl and a 2 year old boy.

And what a great job/ministry this is. I wouldn't trade my family for anything in the whole world. It's also a job/ministry that comes with a great responsibility. Paul speaks to this responsibility in Ephesians 5:25:

"Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her" (ESV)

and Ephesians 6:4:

"Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord." (ESV)

I am humbled that God would give me the privilege of being a husband and father and I am challenged by the responsibility those roles entail. I would like to share with you a big challenge God put on my heart a few years ago.

The List

As I prepared to celebrate my 5 year wedding anniversary in October of 2012, I was struck by the fact that my little girl would likely one day get married and celebrate anniversaries of her own. As such, I created a list of the qualities/characteristics I wanted her future husband to have. The list stated that I wanted my daughter to marry a man...

• ...after God's own heart
• ...of integrity
• ...of strong moral character
• ...of respect
• ...of sound judgment
• ...of ambition
• ...of selflessness
• ...of peace
• ...of unity
• ...of a guarded tongue
• ...of humility
• ...of romance
• ...of mercy
• ...of self-control
• ...of good stewardship
• ...of obedience [to God]

This list is not exhaustive but they were the valuable things I thought of at the time. I'm sure I could go on for hours thinking of more qualities to add to the list. If you are a parent and you have unmarried kids, I encourage you to make such a list.

The Challenge

The question after creating the list was what I should do with the list. My immediate thought was to pray over my daughter's future husband that he would have those qualities. And I still think that's a good idea. But then God challenged me with the following:

If I want my daughter to marry a man with those qualities and others, my responsibility as a father is not to simply pray for those qualities in him but to live out those qualities in my own life. I cannot expect my daughter to marry a man any better than I am willing to live myself.

I shared 2 verses from Ephesians above, which are in context with each other. Do you see in this challenge how connected those 2 responsibilities are? I cannot bring my kids up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord if I do not give them the example of loving my wife as Christ loved the church. I need to model the discipline and instruction of the Lord before them.

A lot of dads want good things for their little girls and want an amazing man to marry their princess, but how many are willing to be the type of man they want their daughter to marry? I pray with God's strength that I will be that type of man.

The Bigger Picture

Since that list and challenge, we have welcomed our little boy into our family. That list can now also serve as the qualities I want him to have as a husband some day. And my wife has the responsibility of modeling a Proverbs 31 woman to my daughter and the type of woman my son will some day marry to my son.

We, as parents, have an incredible responsibility. Let's choose to be parents who bless our children with good examples of what it is to be men and women of God, men and women with great qualities and characteristics. Let's put our desires into action and live out the example before them.

As Proverbs 22:6 says, "Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it." (ESV)

You can check out my original post with the more expanded list from 2012.

Living Selflessly in a "Me, I, Mine, My" World

How do we live selflessly in a world filled with so much selfishness?

Don't misunderstand me. I have encountered numerous people in my life exhibiting selfless behavior, with my mother being high on that list. And I have witnessed selflessness in random situations in life, like in the 2013 Boston Marathon when many runners continued past the finish line and to the hospital to donate blood for those impacted by the bombings. In fact, I often comment on how kind and generous the Costa Rican culture is in general, with one of the most common questions heard here being, "¿En que puedo servirle?" which means "How can I serve you?" And it's not just empty words; they mean it.

But let's be honest, we see and experience a lot of selfishness in this world too. Just watch a video of people shopping on Black Friday, tackling people as they fight for the same toy. Or pay attention in traffic as people cut others off, at times traveling illegally to do so. Or just see how often people are "too busy" to help others in need. I believe that selfishness exists because sin exists in this broken world. We tend to think of ourselves first. Many times, I'm as guilty or even more guilty than the next. And this is precisely why I was so moved by the example of selflessness I witnessed this past weekend.

Ángel is Maleku, one of the indigenous tribes in Costa Rica. He pastors a church on the reservation. We spent the weekend with him and his family at their home on the Maleku reservation near San Rafael de Guatuso. We were there for ministry, planning for a missions trip there next year, and passing time with friends.

On Saturday, we visited a number of spots that would be nice for the team to have a chance to see some of the local beauty, which included a trip to a national park and its beautiful light blue river (Río Celeste) and gorgeous waterfall (among other attractions).

I can't share all the selflessness I witnessed from Ángel that day, but allow me to share a few.

Not Inconvenienced

We went to the spot where he normally enters the park, but that entrance was recently closed. As we were getting ready to leave, Polly noticed an American trying to talk to a hotel owner to no avail. As it turned out she was looking for the entrance to the park to see the waterfall. I told her that her and her friend could follow us as that's where we were headed. I told Ángel and he took it a step further. He invited them to hike with us as it's easier and more informative with a tour guide, which he essentially is as he knows the trails very well. They did join us and we had a good time making new friends.

Hop on My Back, Part 1

The hike was an hour or so, mostly through pouring rain and with many inclines. At one point, Genevieve's little 4 year old legs couldn't take it any more. I was already carrying Jonah on my back so I couldn't help her. Without hesitation, Ángel got down and offered her to jump on his back.

Hop on My Back, Part 2

Nearing the park entrance after a long hike, we came across some hikers stopped along the path. We learned that a woman had injured her ankle and could not continue on. Her husband asked if we could let the park rangers know. Instead, Ángel once again offered his back to a complete stranger. He carried her until we came across a park ranger on a 4 wheeler.

Do You Need Help?

As we were driving away from the park we encountered a woman with a flat tire on the side of the road. A man had already stopped to help, but inspired by the selflessness I had witnessed, I decided to stop and offer help. Good thing too because the man was struggling due to the terrain. I couldn't move fast enough to help as much as intended because Ángel was that much faster. He came up with the idea to get the car up and retightened the bolts.

Shirt off his Back, Part 1

Notice how Ángel was shirtless in those last couple photos? Well that was because back in the park, his daughter was cold and wet. So he literally gave her the shirt off his back, completing the remainder of the cold, wet hike shirtless.

Shirt off his Back, Part 2

When we arrived back at Ángel's house, he told me to pull in front of the house. I didn't know why until I saw him with the hose and that very same shirt, cleaning all the mud off my car. I helped as much as I could but he was determined. He did help me clean my boots when he saw me rinsing those off too.

These were more than a few selfless acts. These were examples of the way my friend choosing to live his life: selflessly. The way I believe God wants us to live our lives. It's a Christlike mentality. I learned a lot from my friend. Hopefully rather than just being moved internally I can lead a more selfless life too. Not just occasionally offer selfless acts, but truly live a selfless lifestyle.

What does the Bible say?

Mark 12:29-31 (ESV, emphasis mine)

Jesus answered, "The most important is, 'Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.' The second is this: 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no other commandment greater than these."

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (ESV, emphasis mine)

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Romans 12:9, 10 (ESV)

Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.

Words Hurt Worse than Sticks and Stones

• Good job.
• I'm proud of you.
• You look beautiful.
• You are a great [insert noun here].

Compliments. Words of encouragement. We all love to hear them, don't we? I know I do. It not only makes me feel good when people make positive comments about me, but it inspires me to continue improving and doing well in those areas. And it makes me want to encourage others.

• I'm so sick of you.
• Why do you always have to [insert negative action here]?
• Why are you always so [insert negative characteristic here]?
• You are stupid.

Negative criticisms. Words of discouragement. We don't love these so much, do we? I know I don't. Not only does it make me feel bad when people make negative comments about me, but it makes me either want to "show them" (with impure motives) or just discourages me. Worse than that, however, I find it makes me more negative too.

Now, don't misunderstand me. I'm not blaming others for my own poor attitude or decisions. I am responsible for my own decisions. But as imperfect people, I am speaking of the reality that these things tend to impact us. As the saying goes, "Hurt people hurt people."

"Sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will ever hurt me." Have you ever heard this old saying? Sorry to be negative for a moment, but I totally disagree with it. Words absolutely can and often do hurt us, much deeper than any physical injury sticks and stones could cause.

Perhaps you're a positive person always looking to compliment. If you are, that's awesome. Please keep being you. But if you're like me, then you struggle with this sometimes.

I sometimes find it so much easier to see the negative than the positive. Not only in others, but also in myself. But there's no benefit in such negativity.

Proverbs 18:21 says:

Death and life are in the power of the tongue,   and those who love it will eat its fruits.

Words can hurt. But words can heal too. Let's be honest with ourselves. There are enough people speaking death over the people in our lives that they can use some words of life from us. It may be difficult because of the negativity we hear in our own lives. But we must be intentional and push through the negativity and choose to be people who speak life today.

Hurt people do tend to hurt people. But hurt people who find the grace and mercy Christ offers to empower them to lay their hurt at His feet can overcome and help heal (love, encourage) people.

So let's be intentional today and remember the following:

It's better to compliment than criticize.

It's better to encourage than enrage.