Polly and I are incredibly excited about the journey that God has in store for us as we become Missionary Associates in Costa Rica. We have felt so much confirmation and direction from God throughout this process. We are confident that this is where God has us for this season in our lives. And as such, we have no regrets in making this decision. But, I would be lying if I claimed that this decision hasn't led to mixed emotions. That is to say that some aspects of this transition have been more difficult than others. And no aspect has been more difficult than the reality of moving away from family and friends.
Polly and I both come from close-knit families. We both still have great relationships with our parents, siblings and extended families. Polly and I also get along well with each other's family. Family is an important thing to us. Friends are also important to us; we have truly been blessed beyond belief with great friends. The simple truth is that Polly and I will miss our family and friends while we're in Costa Rica. But (at least to start with) it's only a three year commitment. Polly and I will get by just fine. As soon as Polly and I made the decision to go to Costa Rica, our first thought was not about leaving our family and friends; our first thought was about taking Genevieve away from her family and friends.
When Polly and I had Genevieve, our family ties became even stronger. Genevieve is Polly's parent's only grandchild and Polly's siblings only niece or nephew. Genevieve is my parent's only granddaughter and only their second grandchild. She is my siblings first niece. She has four loving grandparents, five loving great-grandparents, thirteen loving aunts and uncles, one incredibly cute and loving first cousin and many other loving great-aunts, great-uncles, cousins and friends. Needless to say, Genevieve is well loved. And even though three years is not a long time for Polly and me, these are three huge years developmentally for Genevieve (she will be gone from ages 2-5). There is a part of us that feels like we are robbing our family and friends of the joy of watching Genevieve grow up.
And yet, with all that said, we know that we are making the right decision. As I mentioned in yesterdays blog post, we just have a new perspective on things now. We have been given a new appreciation for Luke 9:61, 62 which says, "Yet another said, 'I will follow you, Lord, but let me first say farewell to those at my home.' Jesus said to him, 'No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for the kingdom of God.'" (ESV; In the NIV it reads, "but first let me go back and say goodbye to my family.") Jesus was not devaluing family when He said this; He was simply valuing himself. Jesus is always to be our priority. It is more important to obey God than anything else. And, out of trust for God, I know that He will take care of my family better than I can. He is, after all, our creator and knows us better than we know ourselves. I trust that the Lord has my family's best interest at heart. In fact, working through this difficult part of the process, I believe that God has helped me to better understand the significance and value of family and relationships. I would even go so far as to say that I believe through this insight, God has equipped me to be a better husband, father, son, brother, grandson, nephew, friend, pastor, etc. There are two major parts to this insight:
1. Purpose of Family and Friends - I believe that God has better helped me understand the purpose of family and friends. We see throughout the Bible that God is relational. God has many relational descriptions in the Bible, but my favorite is the description of God as our heavenly Father. Romans 8:15 says, "For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, 'Abba! Father!" (see also 2 Cor. 6:18; Psalm 89:26; 1 John 3:1; Matt. 5:16). God is relational. And we know from Genesis 1:27 that God created us in His image. If we look further, Genesis 2:18 says, "The LORD God said, 'It is not good for man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.'" Genesis 2:22 tells us that God formed woman from the man and then 2:24 says, "That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh." God is relational. God made us like Him. Thus, we are relational. We all have a desire for relationships. And to satisfy those desires, God blesses us with family and friends. We should thank God for His favor in blessing us with these relationships. This reminder has encouraged me to be more grateful of my family and friends.
To better understand Luke 9:61, 62, we must understand that no matter how strong our relationships might be with our family and friends, it will never come close to joy and fulfillment that our relationship with God brings. Our relationship with God was broken by our sin (Romans 3:23), but was made complete again by Jesus' death and resurrection (Romans 6:23). It is by God's grace which we have through the faith He gifts us (Ephesians 2:8, 9) that we can accept what Christ did for us (Romans 10:9, 10) and be reconciled with God, having a renewed relationship with Him. Our decisions should always be made with this truth in mind. Everything that we do should be to honor God. Honoring God will always bring us more joy and fulfillment. And when we love our family and friends and treat them well, we honor God. This is a positive thing. So, let's be careful to cherish those whom God has blessed us with while still putting our relationship with Him first!
2. Role Shift - I have said before that once I became a father, I sensed a shifting of roles in the structure of family. Up until that point I had always viewed myself as my parent's child. But from the moment that Genevieve was born, I began viewing myself as my child's parent. My parents used to refer to themselves as "Dad" and "Mom" but from the moment my nephew Sean was born, they began referring to themselves as "Grampie" and "Grammie." This is a simple reality of life. As we grow up, our roles shift. It is with this reality in mind that I can foresee a day when my role will shift again. Genevieve will someday grow up and have a family of her own. I will be the "Grampie." Granted, this is a long time from now, but everyone always says how fast it goes. With the foresight that Genevieve will someday have her own family and will someday be faced with similar decisions, I recognize that it's possible that she will move away from Polly and me. With this in mind, I want to do all that I can to enjoy the time that God blesses us with her now in order to prepare her for that day. This perspective helps to keep me motivated to be the best father that I can be.
So, you see, there are difficult aspects that go with this decision to transition from everything we know to a place where we've never been. But we are not worried or afraid, because we know that God will lead us and take care of us every step of the way! I believe that God is saying the same to me that He said to Joshua in Joshua 1:9, "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.'"
Mike
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