Better than Expected

In some ways, five years is not a long time. In some ways, though, it is. Five years is usually the lowest increment of time associated with long-term planning. Have you ever been asked about your five-year plan? I was asked that question during a far too lengthy phone interview for my security job. I was only looking to become a security officer to pay the bills since my career job (youth pastoring) could only pay me part-time. If I had a five-year plan, it probably wouldn't have involved working at their company anymore (yet, nearly seven years later, here I am still working for the same company). Now, granted the idea is not to stop at a five-year plan...that's just the starting point. Many others have ten-year and twenty-year plans as well. I absolutely do not operate on these long-term planning models. It's not that I don't have goals, it's just that I try to be flexible to the environment around me. Having a five-year plan is not a bad thing at all. Being unwilling to move away from a five-year plan when situations change or God calls you to something different than you expected, that's not good

Well, even though I can't say that I ever sat down and mapped out a five-year plan five years ago when I was preparing to marry Polly, I think it would be misleading to say that I didn't have expectations or ideas of how life might look five years down the road. I thought it might be fun to take a look back at the last five years:

For example, if you had told me that five years ago today (the last day of my bachelorhood) would be the last time I'd golf for at least five years, I probably wouldn't have believed you. This is not because golf is such a great passion of mine, because it's not. It's just that I have family and friends who enjoy golfing and one might think the opportunity would have presented itself between now and then. The truth is that it really hasn't. I can assure you, though it makes for a great joke, my lack of golfing has nothing to do with being married. It instead has everything to do with my lack of ability and where it ranks on my personal list of priorities. I still think it makes for a great joke though.

Okay, on to a real look back...

Living Arrangements

Expectations:

When Polly and I got married, we moved into a cute little apartment in Southbridge, MA. It was a nice development with a pool and workout room. It was a bit small, but it suited us well. We had a 14 month lease or something along those lines, so I had actually lived there for a couple months before we got married so we could set it up already. I think we both felt that we would live there for a couple years before investing into our own home.

Reality:

We lived in the apartment for one year. A few days before we were going to renew our lease we were invited by a family in our church to come and rent a room in their house in order to save up for a house or pay off loans or whatever. After praying, we felt it was the right decision so we moved in just prior to our first anniversary. Four years later, we're still living there. We balked at the idea of buying a house a couple times but just never did feel right about it. In hindsight, of course, we're happy we never did make that investment as we know other missionaries who are fighting the challenge of selling their houses in this economy. Could God have overcome the economy and helped us sell our house? Sure. Or He could just prevent us from buying one in the first place. I'm happy that's the route things went.

Ministry/Work

Expectations:

When we got married, we were both involved in ministry at Calvary Assembly of God in Dudley, MA. I don't think that we felt we would be there after five years, but neither of us had a clue where we would likely be...in ministry somewhere else though. To pay the bills, I was working as a security officer for a biotech company. I had already been there for almost two years. Polly had just started a new job teaching at a local Christian school. As I already mentioned in the intro, I definitely didn't expect I would be working the security job after five years. Nor did we think Polly would be at the school. Again, we thought we would be moving or transitioning to a full-time ministry opportunity.

Reality:

We only stepped down from ministry at Calvary AG at the end of June in order to focus on our mission adventure to Costa Rica. As I already mentioned above, I'm still working the security job. Polly left the teaching job when Genevieve was born, but has always stayed involved and helped out with school activities. And as of yesterday, she's teaching there once again on a part-time basis (every Thursday).

Family

Expectations:

When we got married, Polly and I both wanted to wait at least two years before trying to have any children. Based on our timetables, I think it's fair to say that we both would have expected a family of four at this point. We definitely thought I'd be the first of my siblings to provide my parents with a grandchild.

Reality:

Just after three years of marriage, God graciously blessed us with Genevieve. She's the only one for now. And she's amazing! I never knew that I had that kind of love within me, but my love for Genevieve is like no other love I've ever known. I chose my wife so it was easy to love her (she always will be my first true love) but I loved Genevieve even before I met her. It's a different kind of love. A very special love. And, as it turned out, my brother Jon provided my parents with their first grandchild. Although I didn't see that one coming at the time, it certainly didn't disappoint me. Spend one second with my nephew Sean and you'd see why I'm proud to be his Uncle Monkey.

Suffice it to say we certainly didn't think we'd be preparing to move to another country. I could go on, but I'll spare you. What all this has taught me is this: Life doesn't always happen the way we expect it, but if we allow ourselves to be flexible and follow the Lord's leading, we discover that different does not mean worse. In fact, if you ask me, my life after five years of marriage is better than I ever could have expected or dreamed it to be.

Go love on your family today. Go enjoy your life. Stop thinking of what could have been and start enjoying what is!

Take care,

Mike